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+--- Thread: Feedback Please. (/showthread.php?tid=18047)
Feedback Please. - Polvo_Blanco - 01-18-2015
I'd like to know what you thought of this.
http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=18046
Feedback Please. - Vincent Lane - 01-18-2015
I think this is a great setp piece that explains some 'origins.'
The little bit of trash talk felt a little out of place, but it's really difficult to make those fit in naturally.
One of the things people tend to say about creative writing is not to lean too much on exposition. You had very little action and very little dialogue. It's good that you broke it up the way you did because otherwise it would have been an overwhelming block of text.
Overall, I think it's impressive and I like the character. I'm looking forward to more.