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+--- Thread: Feedback Request: Feedback on the Baby-Person Wars (/showthread.php?tid=28113)
Feedback on the Baby-Person Wars - Phantom Panzer - 06-11-2017
Baby-Person Wars of 2371
For my first actual full promo with story 'n' all, I'd like to know what y'all think of it.
Thanks for the feedback.
re:Feedback on the Baby-Person Wars - The Engineer - 06-13-2017
Alright, I'll bite. But understand this is the first promo of yours I've ever read so bear that context in mind if I seem to just "not get" something.
First of all, the "backstory" segment was...interesting. I like it better if it's about taking the piss out of people doing convoluted backstories but I'm honesty not sure if you were being straight or ironic. It's definitely creative, but aside from being whacky I'm not sure what purpose it serves in the grand scheme of building your character.
Which slides into my next point. You seem to have powers...? Thats a tough area because it logically leads to the conclusion that you should not lose matches. Unless that was just one of your other persona's. Bear with me, its getting late and I'm exhausted.
As for the trash talk, it was pretty serviceable. Although, I'm really over using edgy insults just for the hell of it. It loses it's impact after a while.
re:Feedback on the Baby-Person Wars - Phantom Panzer - 06-13-2017
PP has powers, outside of the ring. When he's wrestling, he lets himself be pretty much a 'normal' dude. He finds it fun to just be normal against all of the other 'normal' people. After all, if you can do anything in the ring, shit can be boring. Outside of the ring, however, he is a being from Broken Oswald's mind, a being that is outside of all space and time. His personality is a mix of two from GT's past, Death Incarnate and Psychopath(kinda like Mick Foley as early Mankind). Which is why he can hop any timeline, and any dimension of any universe he wants.
However, for now, there's no true 'depth' of him to explore. He is what he is. A psycho murdering clown lookin' mfer that acts how he wishes to act.
Feedback on the Baby-Person Wars - Theo Pryce - 06-14-2017
See, now all of that would make for good information to include in an rp.