TODD: Welcome to tonight’s edition of XWF Anarchy, the final go-home show before War Games! And trust me, boys and girls…we’ve got an action-packed lineup for you folks tonight!
BAMA: That’s right, Toddy! Tonight’s main event has been long awaited, as Summer Page finally gets to take on XXXVI for the Revolution Championship in a PURE RULES match!
TODD: And before that, we have a boiling hot rematch between Centurion and Atara Raven!
BAMA: And don’t forget, we get to see The Director in singles action for the first-time ever as he takes on Mr. Oz in a “Director’s Cut” match!
TODD: And that’s just the start of it! We have Scoops McGee in action, we have Clutch Cassidy in action, and heck- WE EVEN HAVE SCHISM IN ACTION HERE TONIGHT!
BAMA: But first and foremost, Todddy: we have a triple threat to start off the show!
TODD: That’s right, Bama’! Indy sensation Levi Carwin is making his XWF debut tonight against none other than Latoya Hixx and the honorable Sir Lionel Pennyfarthing!
BAMA: This is going to be a barn-burner, Toddy, I can already tell!
TODD: Well then let’s not waste another SECOND- and let’s get straight to the action!
When The Storm is Coming hits Latoya Hixx. they heard a voice laugh in the background and saw blue lights from the entrance and some smoke and rainfall coming down she walked onto the middle stage flexed her muscles walked straight down towards the aisle slapped a few XWF fans got inside the ring and dim the lights in the ring and she flexes her arms once more and spread her arms and climbs on the top rope and yell at her fans and tells them to let's go and climbs down off the ropes and waits for her Opponent to arrive.
Lionel prances to the ring, dressed straight out of an off-Broadway production of Hamlet.
He does vocal exercises as he strides confidently down the ramp. He steps up the ring steps, and takes into the ring, doing a series of deep knee-bends in the corner as he waits for the show to commence.
Total darkness on the stage, as the music starts, then when the "GO" is said in the track, the lights come on, and out comes the JUICER. He flexes, rips off his vest, before he makes his way down to the ring, all business. When he reaches the ring, he'll pose on the rope for a moment, before he throws his trucker hat to the fans, and makes his way into the ring, prepared for CONQUEST.
LATOYA HIXX
- vs -
SIR LIONEL PENNYFARTHING
- vs -
LEVI CARWIN
TRIPLE THREAT!
|
TODD: This one’s going to be… something, Bama.
BAMA: Oh, it’s somethin’ alright. We got a bodybuilder, a diva, and a guy who looks like he got lost on his way to the Renaissance Festival.
The bell rings.
Latoya charges first, swinging for the fences, but Levi doesn’t even flinch. He catches her by the arm and slings her halfway across the ring like she’s made of paper. She crashes to the mat, rolls to the corner, and blinks in disbelief.
Sir Lionel applauds.
“Bravo! Bravo! Such strength! Such stage presence!” he declares.
Levi turns slowly.
Sir Lionel immediately drops to one knee.
“Spare me, good sir! I am but an artist!”
Levi grabs him by the collar and lifts him effortlessly off the ground. The audience laughs as Lionel’s legs kick in midair. Levi tosses him out of the ring like a bag of garbage.
Latoya takes advantage, sprinting in with a running forearm…but she gets caught! Levi snatches her mid-strike and plants her with a belly-to-belly suplex that shakes the ring.
TODD: There’s just no moving the newbie, Levi Carwin!
BAMA: He’s built like a bank vault and hits like a freight train. This kid has potential!
Levi stalks forward. Latoya fires off a flurry of kicks—quick, snappy shots that land against his thigh and ribs—but he barely budges. She spins for a roundhouse. Levi catches her again and slams her with a one-arm spinebuster that leaves her flat and gasping.
Sir Lionel slides back into the ring holding a director’s megaphone.
“CUT! CUT! Terrible lighting! We must retake the scene!”
Levi looks at him like a lion looks at a goat.
Lionel freezes.
“Ah. Improvisation! My greatest strength!”
Lionel bravely goes for a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Levi shoves him backward so hard he does a full backflip into the corner. Lionel looks up, dazed, and confused.
Levi ignores him and instead grabs Latoya, dragging her upright by her hair. Latoya spits in his face and smacks him across the chest.
But one monstrous lariat from Carwin nearly turns her inside out.
The crowd gasps.
TODD: Good grief! That might’ve dislocated something!
BAMA: Everything she’s got, he’s got double! Power, size, and attitude!
Latoya tries to crawl to the ropes, but Levi steps on her back, pinning her there. He leans down, snarling something too quiet for the camera to catch, then grabs her by the wrist and drags her to the middle of the ring.
Sir Lionel, meanwhile, has produced a fake sword from under the apron.
“En garde!” he declares, jabbing toward Levi after he slides back into the ring.
Levi just looks at him.
Lionel gulps and immediately drops the sword.
“On second thought, perhaps a peaceful resolution is in order…”
Levi grabs the sword and snaps it in half over his knee.
Lionel faints backward, throwing himself against the ropes in theatrical agony. Levi just shakes his head at Lionel before he turns back to Latoya, who’s somehow on her feet again, swinging wildly. She lands a slap. Then another. She screams and comes at Carwin with everything she has.
But Levi catches her around the waist, lifts her high overhead, and delivers a running over the shoulder powerslam combination: first one is ran into the corner, then he spins around to slam his opponent. He bounces her off the mat like a rubber ball!
The fans erupt.
TODD: That’s gotta be it!
BAMA: That’s not a trademark move, that’s a felony!
Levi doesn’t go for the pin. Instead, he hears Sir Lionel behind him.
Lionel’s standing on the second rope, arms raised, trying to get the crowd to chant with enthusiasm.
Levi grabs him out of midair like catching a beach ball, hoists him up, and drives him down with a Gutwrench sit-out powerbomb so violent the crowd actually gasps!
Levi stands tall over the wreckage. Latoya writhing in pain, Lionel spread-eagle like he’s taking a nap in the middle of a battlefield.
He shakes his head, then drags Lionel’s limp body on top of Latoya’s.
He puts one heavy boot across both of their chests.
1!
2!!
3!!!
TODD: An impressive debut from start to finish! Levi Carwin just bulldozed through both opponents!
BAMA: He stacked ‘em like pancakes and served up a full breakfast of pain! You can’t script dominance like that, Toddy!
TODD: Latoya gave it her all, Sir Lionel gave… whatever that was, but tonight belonged to Levi Carwin! And I can’t wait to see what the XWF’s newest signing does next!
TODD: Folks, our next match is going to be a Fatal 4-Way! Between four very different competitors!
BAMA: Fo REAL, Toddrick! If you made a venn diagram of these four competitors, it’d almost be four separate circles!
TODD: Save for the fact that they are all very capable XWF competitors!
We see the X-Tron come to life, and we see "John Black" name shot up with the .38 special, and we see him at the stage in a black and white setting as he is standing there taking in the mixed reactions.
TODD: There he is! John Black! The militant mind behind the THUGs! He pulled a shocking upset victory over Atara Raven, the current reigning Anarchy champion, on Warfare!
BAMA: It was a controversial victory to say the least, with the THUGs sticking their nose in that ladder match. But the record books say John Black has a recent victory over the Anarchy champ!
TODD: Is he on the docket of potential challengers for Atara’s big blue belt? It’s hard to say, but a victory tonight over this competitive field would certainly give JB a strong case to be Atty’s first title challenger!
John walks down to the ramp, and he gives them some high fives, then he climbs on the steel steps and enters the ring, and he raises his fist in the air as he pounds his chest around the ring as his theme cuts off.
…
Marisol comes out to the ring, with Snarktopus Nessa Wail her valet flanking her! “Shake it Off” by Taylor Swift is playing.
TODD: Shorter, more compact entrance this week for Marisol Vilaro! She’s been dominant on Anarchy… but she came just short facing Summer Page at Relentless, with a #1 contender’s shot for the Revolution Title on the line.
BAMA: Mari is desperate for Anarchy gold. And she’s been crushing the competition in non-title matches. If Summer beats XXXVI later tonight, you gotta imagine Mar wants to be first in line for that gold!
Mari reaches the ring, flexing and posing powerfully as the song stops.
…
When Booyka 619 hit's he walks out on stage and kneels down on one knee and prays. He gets up and points to the Fans in Pyro fireworks burst open and switch to the other side of the stage in does the same thing in
TODD: El Landerson! The Bit Luchador! He’s faced some of the best talents the XWF has to offer, including Ace Sky, Razor Blade, and Jennie Nickles!
BAMA: Landerson’s been fiery and entertaining! But don’t forget, he’s made enemies too! One of the competitors in this match apparently has a score to settle with Landerson! And he’s not waiting until WarGames to settle that score!
after he was done he slowly walks down the ramp in slaps some little kids high fives and he stops and stares at the kid in hands him his Luchdor Mask to him and heads straight towards the ring and hops on the turnbuckle and pose both fingers in mid air and walks to the other side turnbuckle in does the same thing mid finger in the air in he gets down and wait for his Opponent arrive.
…
Some Guy...
Some Guy?
Yeah, That Guy.
That Guy bursts through the curtains with a microphone.
He raps the opening bars of his entrance theme.
"Y'ALREADY KNOW WHO IT IS, SO I'M NOT GONNA SAY IT! YOU KNOW WHAT I DO SO NO NEED TO TELL YOU!"
"YES! THE BOY'S GOT NOTHIN' NEW TO SHARE! SO, I'M NOT SURE WHY I'M ON THE MIC, TO BE FAIR!"
He walks along the side of the entrance ramp to the fans in the audience.
"CUZ Y'ALL KNOW ABOUT..."
He holds the mic out to the crowd. No one says anything...
"Y'ALL KNOW WHY..."
He does it again... Nothing.
"Y'ALL KNOW HOW..."
The same. Silence.
"Y'ALL KNOW WHY I FUCKIN' LOVE BOYSENBERRIES!"
TODD: This man is… frankly, to this day, I have no idea who this is. But he claims El Landerson… lemme check my notes… killed his partners? Along with Razor Blade and the Hixx sisters?
BAMA: Rest in Peace Gerald Cosgrove, Leland Pennyworth, and Andre Smith! Gone but not forgotten!
TODD: I think they are, Bama, in that there’s no records of those three men ever existing! But, regardless, YKW has declared his intent to pursue vengeance against all four of his opponents at WarGames! AND that he intends to… double-checking my notes again… literally kill EL Landerson?
BAMA: Hell yeah, this fata four-way just got even more interesting!
YKWhands the mic to someone from the ring crew, as to not break it, before sliding into the ring, ready to go!
JOHN BLACK
- vs -
MARISOL VILARO
- vs -
EL LANDERSON
- vs -
YA'LL KNOW WHO
FATAL FOURWAY!
|
The bell rings and all four competitors charge into each other like a car crash!
Black charges toward the center of the ring, going after Vilaro… But El Landerson springboards off the apron over the top rope, hitting a Reverse Crossbody on John Black!
Vilaro peers stunned watching the action explore in front of her… when, from the side, Y’all Know Who grabs Marisol Vilaró and starts shouting, “I CALL THIS MOVE RIO DE JANEIRO ‘97 AFTER THE MOVE I LANDED IN RIO DE JANEIRO ON 97 MEN!”
TODD: What the hell happened in Rio De Janeiro, Bama!
BAMA: Y’already know!
TODD: I really don’t!
YKW switches to a side headlock, going to run up the turnbuckle…
RIO DE JANEIRO ‘97!
…Is blocked by an elbow from Vilaró to YKW’s gut!
TODD: So… the Rio De Janeiro ‘97 is… getting elbowed in the stomach?
BAMA: Apparently, Toddrick!
Vilaró drives YKW into the corner and unloads a flurry of boot chokes and spinning wrist locks, pounding the mysterious enigma into paste…
Landerson springs from the mat onto the middle rope, diving after John Black…
But Black catches Landerson with a boot the gut! Landerson crash lands on the mat!
TODD: Oof! Landerson landed hard!
BAMA: You think that landing was hard? Black’s almost too make Landerson BLACK OUT!
John Black snorts angrily, as he rips Landerson by the scruff of the neck off the mat… Front-facelock position…
Into a brutal Blacka Jacka (Brainbuster)!
TODD: Oh my! This one could be over!
The crowd groans at the impact as Black rises, breathing heavy as he crawls into a cover on Landerson…
The official counts…
ONE!
TWO!
THR-NO! Vilaró boots Black in the back of the head, breaking up the pin!
Black snaps to his feet, looking for a backfist! But Mari ducks it, boots Black in the stomach… And hooks him for a…
SNAP SUPLEX!
Todd: “Marisol showing off those Vilaró Fitness System results!”
Bama: “She’s got more core strength than a CrossFit cult, Todd.”
Vilaro and Black trade right hands outside the ring… El Landerson slowly rises from the mat and sees two of his opponents by the announce table… He does the Catholic Sign of the Cross… He sprints for the ropes!
He dives through them!
SPEAR TAKING OUT BLACK AND VILARO! They all land in a heap by the announce table!
TODD: What could follow that, Bama?
YKW stands up from the corner and hits the crowd with finger guns…
As all three competitors by the table slowly rise, YKW sprints for the ropes…
LEAPING OVER!
Tope Suicida that wipes out everyone at ringside!
TODD: YKW trying to show El Landerson that anything he can do, Y’already know someone can do it better!
BAMA: …Who?
Back inside the ring, Vilaró aims a high kick at Landerson’s head… But Landerson ducks it!
TODD: Easy to duck a high kick when you’re five foot two!
Vilaró spins, propelled by the force of her kick, spinning back to face Landerson… Who leaps like a superball onto her shoulders!
HURRICANRANA PIN!
The official drops to count!
ONE!
TWO!
TH-NO! Vilaró kicks out!
TODD: Mari is down center of the ring! Landerson might be in a spot to take this one!
Indeed, Landerson just dropkicked Mari onto her back, and has stepped out to the apron to climb to the top rope…
WHEN JOHN BLACK ALMOST DECAPITATES LANDERSON WITH A CLOTHESLINE!
Landerson does a full backflip and lands HARD on his face on the padded concrete outside the ring!
…Mari slowly rises up to her feet,
Black climbs back through the ropes, backing into the corner to assess the scene… As Mari starts a backwards handspring into the…
Vilaró Experience! Catching John Black in the face!
TODD: This match is absolute pandemonium
BAMA: And I’m loving every second of it!
Mari boots Landerson in the stomach! She hooks him in a front facelock!
TODD: This could be it! Mari calling for that finishing fisherman suplex!
Mari goes to lift Landerson…
But Landerson drops to the mat and wraps his legs around Mari’s ankle!
She drops forward, landing on the middle rope!
The crowd rises to their feet!
TODD: HERE WE GO! THE LANDERSON SIX ONE NINE!
Landerson points to the crowd! He breaks into a sprint for the ro-
WHAM!
Y’ALREADY KNEW HOW THIS WOULD END!
TODD: I did not!
(Superkick)
TODD: Oh.
BAMA: YKW caught Landerson flush with that one!
Landerson drops to his back… YKW smiles, looming over Landerson, eager to finish his longtime adversary…
WHEN JOHN BLACK BURSTS THROUGH WITH A LARIAT!
Both Black and YKW go sprawling out of the ring!
TODD: Both Black and YKW get knocked out of the ring! Leaving Landerson with… Marisol Vilaró!
…Mari shoves herself off the second rope… Just as Landerson exhaustedly works his way up to his knees…
Marisol hooks Landerson up and snaps him over with a picture-perfect Fisherman Suplex!
VILARÓIZER!
Mari hooks the leg! The official drops to count!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Marisol Vilaró stands tall, smug grin plastered across her face as she flexes and does a few push-ups next to Landerson’s body.
TODD: Marisol Vilaró survives the chaos! She’s stolen one here tonight!
BAMA: That ain’t stealing, Todd. That’s business. Welcome to VilaroU!
TODD: Folks, this next one is a showcase for just how different competitors in the XWF can be!
BAMA: That’s putting it lightly, Toddrick! In one corner, we have Celestine Gale, an artist from another century, against the enigmatic revolutionary, Schism!
…
A single beam of pale light spills across the stage like moonlight through cathedral glass. From the veil of darkness emerges Celestine Gale, draped in her mourning attire of lace gloves, high collar, and overall Victorian Era vibe. Her footsteps are measured, deliberate, echoing faintly as “Dreams of a Lullaby” plays.
In her gloved hand rests a book, its spine cracked and edges frayed, as though rescued from some forgotten library. She pauses at the head of the ramp, eyes sweeping the masses with aristocratic disdain.
Celestine opens the book with reverence and summons a microphone from a stagehand, cutting her music off as well. She begins to read from the book, regaling the masses with a tale, her voice quiet, melodic, yet sharp enough to slice through the increasingly jeering crowd. She does not relent in the reading until the boos are too loud. Then, she closes the book gently and brushes the cover with her fingertips, like one might caress the cheek of a dead lover.
TODD: Well, that’s… something! Celestine Gale may no longer be possessed by the spirit that the Black Rainbow had imbued her with, but she sure does find modern times distasteful!
BAMA: This is gonna be a real test for Gale, Toddy baby! She was dominant AND undefeated as a Black Rainbow member, but that was with her poltergeist pal possessin’ her! She’s not only gotta go the road ahead without her spectral valet… she’s also facing a damn hardy opponent in Schism!
TODD: It should be made clear, Celestine Gale escaped her possessor/captor and tried to leave wrestling! But after a hard road trying to make it in our modern world, she’s come back to the XWF, not out of want, but out of need! A desperate woman, fighting to survive! How will she fare tonight?
Celestine then begins her descent down the ramp, every step unhurried, regal. When the fans jeer, she does not flinch, only lifts her chin, the faintest smirk curling her lip, as if amused by the desperation of those beneath her.
At ringside, she ascends the steel steps with the same grace one would approach an altar. Upon reaching the apron, she places the book upon the top turnbuckle and smooths her gloved hands across the cover.
With that, she slips between the ropes. The music fades, the lights settle into a dusky glow, and Celestine stands poised in the center of the ring, an immortal relic among the unworthy, awaiting the next act in her tragic opera.
…
Schism butts a cigarette out on the floor and rises from a seat in the audience nose-bleeds.
TODD: It’s hard to believe just sixty days ago how high the Revolution was riding! Dolly Waters was the Universal champion! ‘Micheal Graves’ was the Anarchy champion! Both XWF’s flagship programs were championed by the leaders of the Revolution!
BAMA: It feels like an eternity ago now, Toddrick! That’s how fast it is when the action never slows down! Dolly got beat at Relentless and vanished! ‘Graves’ defended his belt but got concussed after a post-match assault and had to vacate his title…
TODD: And now all that remains of the Revolution is Schism! Will he keep the fight going? Of course he will!
BAMA: But the last vestige of the Revolution is about to run headfirst into the 1800s brick and mortar wall that is Celestine Gale!
Schism make a nonchalant descent through the stadium, over the guardrail and under the bottom rope into the ring.
TODD: We’re about to kick this one off! The mysterious Celestine Gale—an artist from another century… faces off with the ever-unpredictable Schism! In a TABLES match!
BAMA: Gale cut a promo like tables were her best friend growin’ up! You might as well as made the stipulation a ‘Slam your opponent through Gale’s grandmother’ match with how much vitriol she had toward the modern wrestling world and its love of wanton destruction!
TODD: Schism definitely has less feelings about destroying tables… But Gale might have a little more fury and desperation going into this match!
CELESTINE GALE
- vs -
SCHISM
TABLE'S MATCH!
|
TODD: And we’re underway!
Celestine stands perfectly still, eyes locked on Schism. Immobile.
TODD: …Though, it might be difficult to determine that.
BAMA: Do not adjust your sets, folks! The picture quality is fine, Gale just ain’t movin’!
Schism circles, unsure whether she’s even alive. Schism’s eyes dilate and squint curiously… Like Gale is a magic eye he’s trying to see the secret picture through…
TODD: Schism has beaten many opponents with his somewhat rope-a-dope style… Letting them attack him and penetrating with counter-punch style rebukes! Now, it looks like Schism’s gotta be the one to kick this off!
Finally, Schism obliges, lunging forward, looking to lock up with Gale!
…But, as Schism charges, Celestine effortlessly glides sideways, almost without motion blur, and sweeps his leg with a whipcrack motion!
TODD: Wow! Incredible quickness by Gale! It’s like she’s waiting for Schism’s movements! Like an artist trying to capture her model!
BAMA: She’s freakin’ me out is what she’s doing, Toddrick!
Bama: “She’s waitin’ to freak him out, that’s what she’s doin’. And it’s workin’, brother![/blue]
Schism blinks rapidly, like he’s trying to remember how he ended up on the mat, but Gale whips Schizz off the mat…
KNEE to the gut! Followed by a sweeping leg trip!
Followed by a leg-trap surfboard stretch!
TODD: An absolutely flawless display of control from Celestine Gale!
TODD: Gale has been unleashing a clinic of moves that are equals parts poetry, ballet, and HYPERVIOLENCE!
BAMA: You ain’t lyin’, Toddrick! If Schizz wants to get out of the startin’ gate, he’s gotta make his move now!
Gale has gotten Schism’s arm trapped between her legs, twisting into an armbar, as she bridges her back…
TODD: Unreal! This is like if Cirque du Soleil choreographed a forearm breaking!
Schism’s arm extends… like he might tap out…
…BUT he reaches forward toward Gale! And rakes her eyes! Gale covers her face, her body coiling in to defend itself! And Schism escapes!
TODD: Classic move by Schism! He’s got the vision to find an escape from that labyrinthine submission maneuver!
Gale rolls backwards out of her bridge… Charging forward…
But Schism is already charging her…
STRIKE! Haymark to the temple! Gale gets driven back against the corner!
TODD: And here comes Schism! Here comes the beating heart of the Revolution!
Celestine staggers, a smear of crimson across her lip. Schism raises his arm…
TODD: is he… I think Schizz is indicating towards his knee! Is he calling for… Running Waters?!?
…He backs up to the corner!
He charges Gale!
Looking for a…
RUNNIN-
No! As he charges, Gale bursts out of the corner, slipping by him… Before latching onto his skull!
DIVINCHI VORTEX! (Swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker with a wide spin)
With a theatrical flourish, she rolls off the mat back onto her feet, above her fallen opponent!
TODD: Wow! What a maneuver! You could hang that neckbreaker of Gale’s that in the Tate Modern!
BAMA: And you could hang Schizz in some sorta full body gurney after that move, Toddy baby! His neck’s twisted six ways!
TODD: Celestine’s done playing with her food… We’ve seen Schism pull off some miraculous performances tonight, but thus far, this one’s been all Celestine Gale!
BAMA: She’s set up that table behind Schism… And Schizz ain’ even realize he’s on the cusp of defeat!
Schism slowly exhaustedly rises off the mat…
Celestine moves in eerie rhythm now—pivot, glide, freeze– As if Tarantella dancing around her dazed, woozy opponent as he slowly rises to his feet…
She steps forward with a confident step… With what wits he has about him, Schism reels his foot back to raise his guard defensively… Not knowing the table is behind him…
Gale charges, looking for another…
DIVINCHI VORTEX THROUGH THE TABLE!
…But Schism spins, catching her from behind in a rear-naked choke!
BAMA: What the Hell?!? Did Schism know what she was planning there?!?
TODD: Schism’s been called the Vision of the Revolution! He might not have seen the table, but he saw what was coming and countered it beautifully!
Schism desperately tries to slip Gale from the choke down into his signature Guillotine!
TODD: That hold got Schism a pin on Sebastian Everett-Bryce! If he can lock it in… This one’s not over yet!
Schism, with all his might, desperately tries to drag Gale down into the Guillotine…
Celestine struggles, her movements fading to that eerie stillness again. She shifts, struggling, trying to break his grip…
Or so it appears… While Gale seemingly battles his grip, she also shifts him toward the ropes!
TODD: Schism’s almost got the Guillotine locked in… But I think Gale’s got a plan of her own!
Schism’s teeth grit with determination… He’s almost… Almost!
GOT I-
…NO! In a flash, Gale spins out, breaking his grip and standing before him, in front of the ropes! She boots him in the stomach before he can even put two and two together as to where they are in the ring…
She latches on a front-facelock…
Backs up into the ropes!
TODD: Celestine Gale is about to finish this match off with a masterstroke!
LEAPS OFF THE SECOND ROPE!
AND DDTS SCHISM THROUGH THE TABLE!
FINAL EXHIBIT!
DING DING DING!
TODD: Wow! An absolutely artful finish by Celestine Gale! If she can pull off sequences like that, I imagine her future on Anarchy is bright!
BAMA: Hard to say anything about Gale is bright, Toddrick. Instead, I’ll say… anyone booked against her? Their outlook is BLEAK.
Celestine releases her DDT grip slowly, rising in one smooth, deliberate motion. She doesn’t celebrate. She stares at Schism’s crumpled body, surrounded by shards of table as the lights dim slightly, her shadow stretching across the mat like a brushstroke over canvas.
TODD: This is going to be a clash of two distinct, different personalities, Bama!
BAMA: Yet somehow, there’s many similarities between these competitors! They both demand unquestioned loyalty from their followers! They’re both enigmatic in their motivations, but charismatic in their execution!
TODD: Fair points, Bama! These men have a few things in common! And one of them is a hunger to dominate their competition! Which means, when they go head-to-head in just a few moments, it’s set to be explosive!
The Director appears to silence initially, as he surveys the studio audience assembled before the soundstage, sitting on a gilded director's chair, with a black cloak at his back. "Whiplash" by Architects cracks the silence as four masked men, clad in all black, each mask bearing an X, O, triangle and square, respectively. As the music plays, they each grab a corner of the chair, lifting him and carrying him down the ramp like pall bearers.
TODD: …It is EERIE the level of dedication and devotion the Director’s followers exhibit for him.
BAMA: We don’t know much about him, Toddrick! Except he’s a former XWF talent… AND ONE-HALF of the Anarchy Tag Team Champions!
TODD: Yes, he and his prized student, XXXVI looked absolutely DOMINANT against Thunder Knuckles. You can call it a glorified handicap match, but the fact of the matter is the Director’s designs led directly to his team claiming the Tag Titles at Spirit Halloween Presents Anarchy!
BAMA: But now the Director’s flyin’ solo, Toddrick! And he’s facing a runnin’ buddy of TK’s… Mister Oz! And Oz is a monster in the ring when he’s in a good mood. I’d hate to face him when I’ve pissed him off! And the Director has PISSED OZZY OFF!
When they reach the end of the ramp, they set the chair down and X kneels down on all fours as the other three step aside. The Director stands, removing his cloak and handing it to one of the other masked men. He then steps onto X's back, using him as a human step stool to step foot onto the soundstage. Once in the ring, he spins with arms outstretched, taking in the boos of the crowd. He then moves to centerstage… behind a late night desk, like the master of ceremonies. He takes a seat upon the desk like it’s a throne… He enfolds his hands and awaits the start of the match.
STUDIO AUDIENCE: OOOOOOOOOH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
TODD: Clearly that charisma is emanating off the Director! The studio audience is both fascinating and mystified by him!
…
Oswald stands amidst an indie metal band, watching the soundstage, looking at the band. Soon a choir is heard as the band begins to play his theme song. He walks towards the lead guitarist, clapping him gently on the back so as to not mess up her playing. Oswald walks down through the studio audience, the bottom of his white cloak dragging along the ground.
TODD: Mister Oz… Still a member of The Corporation… still affiliated with Charlie Nickles! He and Thias Watts challenged Thunder Knuckles at Relentless with the belts on the line… But the Brotherhood of Bastards is thicker than any title belt… And the Director and XXXVI tossing TK off the roof of a Spirit Halloween?
BAMA: That’s gotta make the already quick-to-anger Oz absolutely STEAMIN’ mad!
TODD: Oz is one of the most violent competitors in the XWF! He’s brutalized many an opponent! But how will he fare against the mysterious Director?
Once at the side-stage, he punts the door to the stage open to show how strong and agile he was…
STUDIO AUDIENCE: *pops like it’s the fucking 90s and KRAMER JUST OPENED JERRY’S DOOR*
TODD: Wow! This crowd LOVES Mister Oz!
BAMA: Everyone does, Todd! If they don’t, he beats them up!
Oz de-cloaks himself, placing the cloak on the guest chair before stretching out his arms in a lower case t and roaring out to the crowd before going and sitting on top of his cloak...
TODD: Now this is a very unusual match environment, Bama! A Director’s Cut!
BAMA: You ain’ kiddin’, Toddrick! It’s all about camera angles! Playing to the crowd… AND THE COPIOUS BARBED WIRE ALL OVER THE STAGE!
The bell rings!
THE DIRECTOR ©
- vs -
MR. OZ
THE DIRECTOR'S CUT:
The match takes place on a soundstage, in front of a live studio audience! AND BARBED-WIRE IS EVERYWHERE!
|
The moment the bell rings, Oz immediately charges at The Director perched on the soundstage, throwing a shoulder tackle toward the late night desk!
TODD: Oz might be ready for his close-up! Or just ready to get up close and personal with The Director!
The Director slips backwards, as Oz barrels through the desk!
…But as it breaks apart, it’s revealed that it’s FULL of barbed-wire!
TODD: Oh my! A miscalculation by Oz here! Apparently the desk the Director chose to stand on was a trap of sorts! Did the Director know that?
BAMA: I’d assume the Director knows EVERYTHING, Toddrick!
TODD: The Director has been absolutely torturing Oz with the barbed wire on this sound stage!
BAMA: Soundstage?!? The Director’s kept Oz stuck in that desk fulla barbed wire!
Indeed, the Director pummels Oz with forearm smashes… And a BIG headbutt to Oz’s skull…
So hard, The Director staggers backwards, even though his face is shrouded in a mask…
BAMA: Man, Oz’s so hard-headed, I think the Director took more from that headbutt than Oz did! And his face is covered!
Oz, in a burst of strength, RIPS his arms upwards, out of the barbed wire trap, and forces his legs out!
The Director’s eyes widen through his mask… Oz charges!
…But in a flash, the Director rips open a hatch on the stage, and drops through the floor!
TODD: What on Earth!
BAMA: Secret compartments, Toddy baby! The Director knows all and sees all!
Oz dives for the compartment just as The Director closes the latch behind him!
Oz furiously smashes his fists down on the sealed trapdoor!
”WHERE ARE YOU, COWARD?!?”
Suddenly, all the televisions on the soundstage turn on… and The Director’s face is on all of them…
Oz spins around furiously…
BAMA: I’ve got a feeeeelin’... somebody’s watching Ozzzzzzzzz!
TODD: Mister Oz has been tearing apart the soundstage looking for the Director!
BAMA: And he’s run into his fair share of barbed wire in the various bits of rigged equipment!
Oz punches a television with the Director’s face on it…
But inside the screen… Barbed wire rolls out the broken screen, snaring around Oz’s fist!
Oz howls in fury and pain, peeling his fist out of the TV!
”SHOW YOURSELF! FACE ME!”
Suddenly behind Oz, a stage panel opens… revealing four doors, each with the Director’s face on them!
TODD: This is turning into some sort of twisted game show!
BAMA: Mister Oz, come on doooooown!
…Oz squints furiously at the four doors…
He takes a step toward the first one…
A spotlight flashes on the first door…
And a stop sign pops up in front of Oz!
As doors #3 and #4 open…
Revealing cardboard cutouts of donkeys! Covered in barbed wire!
BAMA: Two doors just opened! What the Hell’s going on here, Toddy?!?
TODD: The Director just revealed two doors that were trapped before Oz opened the first door! Is he giving Oz a sporting chance to change his pick from the first door?
BAMA: That or he’s just calling Oz a jackass!
Oz snorts furiously as the spotlight alternates between the first and second door!
BAMA: I’m not following this horseshit… er, maybe donkey shit? AT ALL!
TODD: It’s actually the Monty Hall problem, Bama! See, before the other two doors were revealed, each door had a 25% chance of being the door with the Director behind it! Meaning the other door, the one Oz didn’t select, had a 25% chance of being the correct door, and all other doors had a 75% chance of having the Director behind them! Now that the Director has revealed two of the doors Oz didn’t select as traps, that means the last door now has a 75% chance of being the door with the Director behind it! Oz should switch to the second door!
BAMA: I didn’t understand a word of that and also I hate you.
Oz snorts, stomping his foot like a raging bull…
AND CHARGING AT THE WHOLE WALL OF DOORS!
BAMA: I think Oz has found a solution to your problem that didn’t involve any NERD thinkin’! BUST ALL THE DOORS AT ONCE!
Oz delivers a double dropkick to both doors!
He careens through the doors!
…
And the wall between them gives out!
THE WHOLE SPACE BEHIND THE WALL IS COVERED IN BARBED WIRE!
TODD: Ooooooh, tough luck for Oz! Turns out the Director wasn’t behind *any* of those doors! That never happened on Monty Hall!
TODD: Oz is bleeding more and more from all this exposure to barbed wire… And he still hasn’t forced the Director out of his hiding spot!
BAMA: At this point, the Director’s gonna put a kick me sign on Oz’s back and somehow get him to kick his own ass!
…Oz looks around furious… Before grabbing a television with the Director’s face on it…
AND TEARING IT OUT OF THE WALL!
…Behind the wall! Watching the soundstage on a series of monitors…
It’s the Director! Pulling levers and switches!
TODD: Oh my God! Oz found him! Oz found the Director!
The Director turns around… shaking his head… waving his arms!
Oz sprints forward before the Director can even defend himself… Scooping him behind the back in a waistlock!
GERMAN SUPLEX!
Oz hucks the Director all the way out of his observation room across the soundstage…
AND INTO HIS OWN BARBED WIRE DESK!
TODD: Turnabout is fairplay! The Director has been tossed into the barbed wire…
Oz… bleeding all over, exhaustedly stumbles back onto the stage… Eager to inflict more pain…
He approaches the barbed wire…
And sees the man he threw…
With the Director’s mask dangling on the edge of the desk!
TODD: Gasp! He’s unmasked! Are we about to learn the Director’s true identity!?!
BAMA: I bet it’s JOE BIDEN!
Oz creeps forward and a camera surges behind him to capture the moment…
…It’s…
IT’S!
…
It’s one of the Director’s followers! In a Triangle Mask!
TODD: It’s another trick! That wasn’t the Director! It was one of his follower’s acting as a body double!
Oz squints down perplexed… As a shadow creeps up behind him…
FINAL CUT! (Spirit Gun)!
Oz’s eyes widen in shock as he’s struck from behind with a running clothesline! Getting propelled forward…
INTO THE BARBED WIRE!
Todd: Oh no… The Director reveals his Final Cut!
Bama: And now Oz is getting cut UP!
Oz thrashes, tangled deeper and deeper in the wire, bleeding and exhausted, the barbed wire holding him against the soundstage... The Director calmly steps onto Oz’s prone body…
The official drops to count!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
The Director, calmly and casually, uses Oz as a stepping stone to exit the stage, leaving Oz incapacitated and the crowd in awe.
TODD: I… I can’t believe it. The Director just used Oz as a bridge to get out! What a masterclass in mind games!
BAMA: That’s showbiz, baby! Cut! Print! That’s a wrap on Mister Oz!
The cameras catch the Director disappearing through a side doo, remaining as mysterious in his exit as he was in his entrance. Oz remains trapped in barbed wire, breathing heavily, bloodied, and humiliated. The crowd is absolutely in awe, screaming and cheering as the soundstage lies in ruins.
TODD: Folks… the Director has revealed the smallest portion of his grand design… And it is horrifyingly violent, but masterfully crafted! What a dominant showing tonight!
BAMA: He’s playing chess while the rest of the roster is banging rocks together! If this is the sort of competition we can expect from the Director, the rest of Anarchy might be in trouble!
As the opening notes begin, the lights go out, save for a single spotlight on the top of the stage. Betsy comes out, but she’s only a silhouette at this point. Just as the drum strikes it’s second note, Betsy dabs and the lights come back. The song starts from the refrain as Betsy starts dancing down the ramp.
“Sin City’s cold and empty
No one’s around to judge me
I can’t see clearly when your gone-one-one”
Arms out, Betsy begins twirling around wildly, blonde ponytail whipping about with her, as she slaps hands with fans on both sides of the ramp. The chorus hits just as Betsy baseball slides into the ring.
“And I said ooooh, I’m blinded by the lights
I can’t sleep until I feel your touch
And I said ooooh, I’m drowning in the night
Oh, when I’m like this, you’re the one I trust”
As the chorus chimes on, Betsy bounces up and hops up onto every ring corner, pumping her fist and bobing her head in time with the song, getting the fans amped up for the upcoming bout. When she finishes playing up the fans, she starts bouncing in place, preparing mentally for the bout.
"In the Face of Evil" by Magic Sword reverberates over the PA. Row after row, aisle to aisle, fans rise from their seats throughout the arena and cheer, knowing one of their workhorses is about to appear!
As the second, third, and fourth chords of the theme reverberate, three spotlights shine down, one over another: A green circle, a gold triangle over it, and a crimson line intersecting the other two. On the Tron, his monikers cycle through one after another:
TACTILIZING ONE
GAME CHANGER
LIMIT BREAKER
From there, the beat triggers the house lights to illuminate the figure of Larry Tact standing on stage. He's looking down as he hones in for the battle ahead.
After a few seconds, Tact whips his head up and trudges to one side of the stage, firing up the fans by pointing towards different sections. He goes to the other side of the stage and beats his chest with a hand before opening his arms to the reaction of the crowd. "THIS IS YOUR SPOTLIGHT!" Larry bellows as the audience hoots and hollers back. He returns to center stage and points to either side of the crowd. The lights cut out except for green, gold, and crimson spotlights highlighting the audience in attendance. Larry makes his way down to the ring, pounding fists with some fans at ringside before hanging onto the middle rope and pulling himself up onto the apron.
Facing the stands, he opens his arms up and puffs his chest out to receive the feverish energy of his supporters. Wiping his boots on the apron, Tact proceeds into the ring. He climbs a turnbuckle and again holds his arms out. “BEST GAME WINS!!!” he exclaims to another pop before descending and making his final preparations for the match.
BAMA: Welcome back folks as we roll right on into another high octane contest!
TODD: That’s right, Bama. This is an interesting one featuring the captain of one War Games team versus the team member of a rival team. Whoever comes out on top of this one is going to have some serious momentum going into War Games.
LARRY TACT
- vs -
BETSY GRANGER
FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE!
|
Both competitors approach the center of the ring as the bell rings. Larry wastes no time locking up with Betsy, drawing her into a knee strike to the abdomen, followed by an attempt at a gut wrench suplex. But Betsy uses the momentum to her advantage, twisting in mid air to land behind Tact and counter with a deep arm drag, followed by a running dropkick as Tact tries to rise.
TODD: Pretty evenly matches so far but that can change in an instant!
Tact gets up and Betsy irish whips him into the ropes and nails him with a rolling koppu kick on the rebound! But Tact gets up quickly and goes for another lock up on Betsy, using his superior power to knee her again, hit a standing switch, and deliver a suplex! Tact then parlays that into a swinging neckbreaker followed by a pin!
1….
2…..BETSY KICKS OUT!
BAMA: Betsy showing that grit that’s made her a superstar in so many promotions!
Tact stays on the attack, hefting Betsy onto his shoulder for a running power slam, but she slips out the back and pushes Larry into the corner turnbuckle. He bounces back into Betsy’s radius where she reaches up for a cobra clutch looking to hit the DOWN YOU GO! But Larry counters with a few strikes before turning towards her and dropping her with a short arm clothesline. Tact then picks Betsy up and irish whips her into the ropes this time, catching her on the return with a big time spinebuster! He covers again!
1….
2……
3…NO! Another kickout from Granger!
BAMA: Tact asserting himself with two covers to Betsy’s none. It seems like Tact’s power game is really serving him well, Todd.
TODD: Yeah, Betsy needs to avoid these power moves from Larry if she wants to have a chance in this contest.
Larry brings Betsy to her feet, but she surprised him with a desperation chop followed by a sit out jawbreaker that stuns the bigger competitor. When Larry sits up Betsy then hits a running dropkick to his head, followed by her measuring him and hitting another driveby dropkick to his head. Betsy then hits the mat and locks in a sleep hold with a body scissors on Tact!
TODD: Betsy trying to slow things down, which could be a good call.
Tact grimaces and tries to drag himself towards the ropes, but the body scissors is making it hard. The ref asks checks on Tact who is fighting the sleeper with everything he’s got! Finally, with a burst of energy he grabs hold of Betsy’s arm and is able to power out! Both competitors get to their feet and Betsy hits a spinning roundhouse to Tact’s abdomen as he advances on her. She then hits a stunning pele kick that drops Tact. She covers!
1….
2…..NO! Tact powers out!
Tact pushes Betsy off of him and she gets vertical, dropping a knee on his head as he tries to get up. Betsy then backs off, measuring Tact and hitting him with another rolling koppu kick that sends him into the corner. Betsy builds up a head of steam and runs at him for a splash, but Tact catches her in mid air, powers her to center ring with THE HUMBLING (uranage suplex). Tact covers again!
1….
2……
3….NO! Betsy rolls the shoulder up!
BAMA: No quit in Betsy here, she knows she’s gotta show out for her team!
Larry doesn’t pause for a second, lifting Betsy up onto his shoulders for a TACTILIZER! But Betsy slips out behind him, dragging him down with a surprise reverse neckbreaker. Betsy stomps Tact after that, and then locks his feet up indian deathlock style to apply her Tuez les étoiles! But Tact is able to power out, disentangling his legs! Both competitors stand up and Betsy goes to hit a flying forearm, but Tact counters with a lariat that knocks Betsy to the mat. He then picks her up for the TACTILIZER again, but he really lays into the tourture rack, bending Betsy in half before going to hit the the powerbomb, but Betsy is able to escape again, though she grimaces in pain when she hits the mat and rolls away from Tact.
BAMA: Ooof, that torture rack looks like it did a number on Betsy.
TODD: Yeah, she definitely looks to be in some pain here.
When Larry turns around Betsy nails him with a dropkick to the chest, followed by another when he gets up, and then another! But with each one Betsy’s momentum gets slower as she starts to succumb to the pain. Eventually she resorts to just putting some space between her and Tact, but that only lasts so long as Tact advances on her. Larry nails Betsy with an overhand punch, followed by another, before grappling her back to center ring and dropping her with a gut wrench powerbomb! Betsy cries out in pain!
TODD: Not looking good for Granger here!
Tact, sensing blood in the water, picks Betsy up again and brings her high with a powerbomb, only to release it into a backstabber! The STAR POWER! Tact covers again!
1…..
2…..
3!!!
BAMA: Oh hooo man! Poor Betsy, those repeated blows to the back just not doing her any favors at all!
TODD: Indeed! Betsy fought hard but tonight Larry Tact brought his power game in full force and it netted him a very timely win against a War Games captain!
BAMA: A big time feather in his team’s cap, no doubt!
Cut to an actual working garage, the smell of oil and gasoline thick in the air. The cameras weave between car lifts, oil drums, and the occasional confused mechanic still working on a carburetor. There’s a ring bell hanging off a tool chest…
TODD: Folks, ‘Big’ Dick Lichter has organized a wild show, full of zany stipulations, but this one might just take the cake! A full-on AUTO SHOP BRAWL between Scoops McGee and Clutch Cassidy!
BAMA: It’s gonna get absolutely nuts here at the Talleres Gama auto-shop in Madrid, Toddrick! Or as the spanish say, ‘loco!’
VROOM! VROOM! VROOM!
The power of the engine is heard as the riffs of Steppenwolf's "Born to be Wild" tear through the speakers.
The growl of a classic muscle car grows louder before it explodes into the garage! A number of spanish mechanics back away! The tires squeal as it barrels into one of the garage lans! The crowd erupts, stomping, screaming, waving their arms in the air like they just don't care. The car screeches to a halt, then does a burnout in place, causing smoke to billow up from the tires while doing considerable damage to the surface below.
TODD: There she is! Clutch Cassidy! Definitely one of the most charismatic new additions to Thursday Night Anarchy! She’s been absolutely explosive since debuting at Relentless!
BAMA: She been running up the charts like her career’s running on a damn Ferrari engine, Toddrick! She won the Relentless Night One Battle Royal in DOMINANT fashion! And she scored a major win at Spirit Halloween over Larry Tact and Mister Oz!
TODD: Despite a minor mis-step against Kristoffer Arroyo and Summer Page with her partner, XXXVI, Clutch Cassidy has impressed just about every showing she’s had on Anarchy! But this is the most unique challenge of her career! The neophyte, still very new to wrestling, is about to take on a man with four decades of experience in the ring!
BAMA: But this match, ain’t in a ring, Toddy baby! How much experience does Scoops have in auto shops, huh? ADVANTAGE CLUTCH!
The car shuts off. The door swings open. Out steps Clutch Cassidy, leather jacket, jean shorts, sexy as fuck, mirrored sunshades, and white halter top. She grins and makes her way around the garage, giving the mechanics there instructions on how to handle her car and what sounds she’s hearing… Before stopping at a child in the garage and sliding her sunshades on their eyes, then, in unison with them, yells "VROOM VROOM!"
Cassidy climbs into the starting position, throws her arms wide, then lets the fans join in with her as she does revving gestures with her arms, everyone yelling "VROOM VROOM!" with her.
…
The show is quickly interrupted by the sound of a distant synthesizer, followed up by horses neighing and galloping through the dirt. It fades out, leading into the riff of a guitar strumming a fiery tune. There's an inherent electricity building within the air of the auto shop, culminating as the drums kick in. As they do, the steadfast figure of Scoops McGee emerges through the auto shop’s front door, a look of no nonsense etched onto his face as he takes a long look at the crowd and the garage where he’ll be wrestling.
TODD: And there he is! The living legend himself! Scoops McGee!
BAMA: He’s fought across all seven continents… Including a very strange tour through Antarctica in the late 70s! But has he ever fought in an auto shop before, Todd!
TODD: I wouldn’t be surprised if he had, Bama! But more importantly, Scoops has been wrestling in hardcore matches, death matches… Since he was in his late teens! If anyone knows how to turn a space into a weapon, turn the objects around him into offense? It’s Scoops McGee!
BAMA: I hear you, Toddrick, but Clutch knows autoshops like the back of her hand! Scoops is in her backyard! Clutch ain’t gonna need to improvise nothin’, I guarantee she already knows eight different ways to break Scoops’ face using a carburetor and a gear shift!
Scoops nods, steadily walking to the ring and absentmindedly high-fiving any fans stretching out their hands who happen to be in his path in the auto shop waiting room. He makes his way through the door into the garage…. He saunters about halfway across the garage, taking one last long look at the crowd as they give their reception to the seasoned vet. Scoops stretches his arms out wide, accepting everything they've got to give before stepping across from Clutch.
Scoops paces in front of his opponent and doing some small stretches to keep himself warmed up before the match begins.
TODD: Remember folks, this is an Auto Shop Brawl!
BAMA: How the hell would our audience know what that means, Toddy?
TODD: It means, no disqualifications! And the only way to win is by KOing your opponent!
BAMA: No pinfalls! No tap-outs! No technical decisions! You want this dub? KNOCK YOUR OPPONENT UNCONSCIOUS!
SCOOPS MCGEE
- vs -
CLUTCH CASSIDY
AUTO SHOP BRAWL! KO YOUR OPPONENT TO WIN!
|
The moment the bell rings, Clutch slides her boots to snag a rolling mechanic’s creeper!
TODD: Wow! We’re one second in and Clutch is already using the environment to her advantage!
BAMA: Miss Cassidy’s only got one speed and it’s GO!
Clutch roars across the floor on the creeper, launching herself feet-first into Scoops’ knees! Sliding dropkick!
McGee topples onto his knees!
BAMA: Wise move by Cassidy, targeting the old man’s knees! If she really wants to lock up the wind, she might also hit his lumbago or his sciatica!
McGee rolls to the side, raising his guard in a defensive stance…
But Clutch has already zoomed over to the wall, snagging a wrench and clangs it against the lift’s steel column—like a starter pistol!
TODD: Odd choice! Clutch had McGee right where she wanted him and decided to run to the wall to grab a wrench!
Scoops sees an opening, with his opponent’s back to him, and charges at her!
But Cassidy takes the wrench…
And twists the car lift lever!
Scoops looks up!
AN OLD CHEVY MALIBU drops from the ceiling and is hurdling towards his skull!
TODD: Oh my God!
BAMA: Brilliant move by Clutch! If that car hits Scoops, he’s knocked out for sure!
…
NO! Scoops somehow dives out of the way!
CLANG! The vehicle collides with the concrete floor, its suspension devastated!
TODD: Thus far, it’s been the Clutch Cassidy show in the auto-shop!
BAMA: I don’t know if she used to work at this particular mechanic, but she seems to know exactly where everything is that can put a HURTIN’ on ol’ Scoops!
Scoops collapses backwards against the wall of the garage, blood already trickling from a split eyebrow… Clutch leaps onto the hood of a Honda, backflipping off looking for an Asai Moonsault!
…BUT Scoops catches her in midair with a…
CATTLE PROD!
TODD: Ouch! That infamous left forearm of Scoops!
Clutch catches it and collides violently against the concrete floor!
BAMA: And here we go! Scoops takes control!
Scoops refuses to let up from this opening… McGee hauls Clutch up off the floor…
PRAIRIE DOG!—the diving bulldog smashes her face-first into a workbench covered in tools. Cassidy collapses, but Scoops isn’t done. He yanks open a drawer and throws handfuls of lug nuts like gravel across the floor, smirking!
TODD: Oh my! I think Scoops is thinking those lug nuts are going to work like thumb tacks on a mat!
BAMA: Logical in theory! And I can’t WAIT to see it in practice!
Clutch slowly pulls herself up to her feet, gripping onto a portable air hose dangling from the ceiling to keep herself upright…
CLINCH! Scoops grabs Clutch by the throat, trying to set her up for the BIG SCOOP…
But Clutch squeezes the air hose’s trigger, and BLASTS Scoops in the face with compressed air! He stumbles back, clutching his eyes.
AND SUPERKICK FROM CLUTCH CASSIDY!
TODD: Clutch sequence from Clutch Cassidy! It could have been it right there if she didn’t find the right moves to escape!
Scoops and Clutch trade rights and lefts as mechanics walk around them, trying to work on cars!
TODD: Did the XWF even get permission to have a match in this garage?!?
Scoops lifts his hands for a double axe-handle strike…
But Clutch catches him with a kneeling gut punch!
Scoops doubles over, cradling his stomach…
Clutch runs up the hood of a coup…
NITRO KICK!
Scoops hits the hood of a sedan, denting it in… he rebounds off it stumbling forward!
But Cassidy shoves Scoops against the car, stepping to the side of it!
She revs her arms…
KICK!
KICK!
KICK!
TODD: She calls this BURNOUT! And the fans love it!
Indeed, as Clutch stomps Scoops’ chest over and over, the fans in the waiting room and watching outside the shop chant “VROOM! VROOM! VROOM!”
TODD: It looks like Clutch is nearing the Winner’s Circle! If Scoops can’t make a move now, this one might be over!
Clutch hovers behind Scoops, as the older competitor slowly rises off the floor of the garage… but Scoops has a hubcap in his hands!
Clutch spins Scoops around, looking for the Checkered Flag!
WHAM! Scoops catching Cassidy with a hubcap to the jaw!
BAMA: Never count out Scoops McGee!
Cassidy stumbles forward shocked… as Scoops catches her from behind!
ATOMIC DROP! Cassidy goes sprawling into the fender of a vehicle!
A mechanic walks by with a gas can… Scoops snatches it!
Cassidy shoves herself off the fender!
WHAM! Scoops catches her with a gascan to the skull!
TODD: What a sequence! Scoops is turning everything in this shop into a weapon!
BAMA: Scoops McGee is a hardcore legend, Toddy! I’d say he’s swung everything at an opponent but the kitchen sink… But there’s an eighteen minute compilation on the internet of Scoops hitting opponents with kitchen sinks!
TODD: Scoops has strung together a series of moves to take advantage… But can he find a window to finish off Clutch Cassidy?!?
Scoops boots Cassidy in the stomach! He’s calling for the BIG SCOOP!
…But while Cassidy’s facing the garage floor, she grabs a jack stand, and kicks it to slide near the hydraulic lift.
TODD: What the Hell is Clutch Cassidy thinking here?
Scoops sees Cassidy’s move and tries to power her into piledriver position…
But she crawls through his legs!
Scoops spins around…
Boot to the stomach!
SNAP DDT onto the floor!
TODD: What a move! But Scoops is still stirring! Cassidy’s got a find a way to knock him out!
Cassidy elevates the car she and Scoops are near with the hydraulic lift…
She sits on the hood as it rises… as Scoops slowly rises himself…
AND SHE LATCHES THE GUILLOTINE CHOKE ON HIM!
THE PIT STOP!
She sits on the hood of the slowly rising car, choke hold latched onto Scoops McGee, as his feet start to leave the ground!
TODD: Oh my God! Oh my GOD!
BAMA: Brilliant move by Clutch Cassidy! Scoops has stayed in this one by desperately turning everything he can reach for into a weapon… But there’s nothing up there for Scoops to grab!
Scoops thrashes like a fish trying to get out of the boat and back into the lake, but Clutch clutches the choke with all she’s got...
The old man’s face turns crimson…
Then blue…
…
HE PASSES OUT!
TODD: Holy HELL! What an absolute war we saw between Scoops McGee and Clutch Cassidy!
BAMA: Scoops pulled out all the stops! But ain’t nothin’ stoppin’ Clutch Cassidy once she gets her motor runnin’!
TODD: The biggest win of Clutch Cassidy’s very new career on Anarchy, but perhaps only the first step on her journey to the top of the Anarchy leaderboard!
Centurion walks onto the stage, greeted with a massive pop from the partygoing audience. Centurion flashes his signature smile to the camera as he walks down the stage, high fiving the occasional child as he calmly and cooly makes his way into the ring.
BAMA T: Bah, I hate this guy! He’s one of those old-timers that just won’t leave! And I can’t for the life of me figure out why this audience seems to be so in love with him?!
TODD: Are you joking, Bama? Centurion is one of Anarchy’s greatest legends of all time! Maybe he hasn’t been around in a while, but these fans haven’t forgotten all that he’s done in this ring! They remember, they remember well: and they want to make more memories by watching him in action here tonight!
The arena blacks out and few seconds pass before the words
HELLO DOVES glitch across the screen.
Automatically the crowd pops with a thunderous OPA! in unison and in just milliseconds after...
....BOOM
Pyro explodes in ultraviolet and hot pink flames! The first synth of “Alphapussy” hits like a strobe heartbeat and Atara Raven, Aphrodite Incarnate appears posed at the top of the ramp with her hips cocked and her championship belt held over her head. She begins her her strut to the ring, each step synced to the beat, and her hips rolling in a figure-eight roll and every movement teasing and deliberate.
Mid-ramp she stops and whips her hair while melting into a body roll that slows into a low grind that ends with a sharp pop of the hips before she's upright and strutting towards the ring again. Shimmying up the steps, Atara walks to the middle of the apron and throws a leg over the middle rope and enters the ring with the ol 2000s Diva bend over pause.
Middle of the ring, she poses with her championship belt, hips pulsing, head thrown back as lasers explode and the music distorts into and fades away.
TODD: And here comes the ALPHA PUSSY herself, the one and only ANARCHY CHAMPION…..ATARA RAVEN!
BAMA T: God damn, Todd- she’s so good lookin’ she’s even got me crying out ‘OPA’!
TODD: But a man like Centurion won’t be distracted by something as shallow as his opponent’s looks! He never has been before! So the Alpha Pussy slash Champion will have to dig deep into her bag of tricks tonight if she wants to get her lick back against the Grandfather of Anarchy!
Atara Raven©
- vs -
Centurion
Non-Title X-treme Rulez!
|
The bell rings, and the fans inside the nightclub are already on their feet. Centurion and Atara Raven circle one another, eyes locked, both perfectly aware that tonight’s X-Treme Rulez match could shorten their careers.
TODD: It’s Anarchy’s most legendary veteran versus the Anarchy Champion herself! You can feel the tension through the monitor, Bama! This rematch may not be for the title belt, but you can just feel the stakes in the ring tonight!
BAMA: You ain’t kidding! Centurion’s been waging wars in that ring ever since Atara was old enough to spell “wrestling,” but that lady from Olympus ain’t lookin’ to worship tonight: she’s lookin’ to wreck a legend and get her win back!
Atara moves first, lunging with a spinning back elbow that smashes across Centurion’s jaw! The veteran stumbles but plants his feet and slings a European uppercut that cracks her under the chin.
The crowd roars.
Atara whips around, nails a lightning-quick calf kick, and hits the ropes—springboard back elbow! Centurion ducks, rebounds, and flattens her with a shoulder block that echoes through the arena.
TODD: This one’s starting off like a street fight already!
BAMA: You ain’t gonna see any armdrags and headlocks here! This is ANARCHY!
Centurion wastes no time. He slides outside, rummages under the ring, and drags out a steel chair. Atara rolls to her stomach, sees him coming, and baseball slides straight into the chair! Centurion’s ribs take the hit and he doubles over.
Atara springs to her feet, snatches the chair, and wallops him across the back! Not once, but twice!
She raises the chair overhead for one more, but Centurion catches it mid-swing, yanks it free, and smashes it into her midsection. Atara folds, and Centurion plants her with a snap DDT onto the arena floor!
BAMA: Good Lord! DDT on concrete! We might be scrapin’ the Alpha Pussy off the floor with a spatula after that one!
Centurion rolls her in and follows. He goes for a quick cover!
1!
2!!
Atara kicks out!
TODD: That was close! Centurion tried to end it before it could even get ugly!
BAMA: That man was born ugly!
Centurion grabs the chair again, but Atara shin kicks him! Centurion drops the chair and hollers in pain as he clutches his lower leg. Atara doesn’t hesitate, she simply folds open the chair and wedges it into the corner turnbuckles while Centurion rubs his wounded shin.
When Centurion finally stands up right, she charges! But he sidesteps, causing Atara to crash face-first into the steel!
TODD: That might’ve shattered her nose!
BAMA: She might need some plastic surgery after that!
Centurion hauls her out of the corner and hits a belly-to-back suplex. He rolls to his knees, pointing upward toward the crowd who’s “OPA” chant has slowly shifted to a “CENT-U-RI-ON!” chant.
But Atara’s not down for long!
She grabs the top rope and springs up with a roundhouse kick to the temple! Centurion drops to a knee. She hits the ropes and connects with a running knee…..Judgement of Paris!
But Centurion barely moves in time, and her knee smacks the corner post instead!
Atara screams in pain, clutching her leg.
Centurion sees the opening. He slides outside again, this time dragging out a table. The fans lose their minds as he sets it up!
He props it up against the barricade. He pulls Atara out of the ring by the hair, dragging her to the apron. She swats at his arms, claws at his eyes, and kicks him in the gut.
Atara gets a grip, spins—snap suplex off the apron and through the table below!
TODD: THEY BROKE THE TABLE! THEY BROKE THE TABLE!
BAMA: Both of ‘em just got baptized in splinters!
They lay motionless in the debris for a long few seconds. The referee checks both, but neither gives up.
Atara stirs first. She drags herself up using the guardrail, blood dripping from a gash above her eyebrow. She lifts Centurion by the wrist and rolls him back into the ring.
Then, she makes the cover for a pin!
1!
2!!
3- No! Atara kicks out!
BAMA: Atara almost had him! She almost had him there!
TODD: But Centurion is adamant that he won’t lose to Atara Raven! He’s fighting like a man possessed in there!
Atara slaps the mat in frustration before lifting Centurion up by his collar and spinning him around for a jawbreaker!
Centurion staggers, but Atara catches him: with a northern lights suplex in the center of the ring!
She bridges and goes for the pin!
1!
2!!
3—NO! Centurion gets the shoulder up!
Atara slaps the mat, furious. She pulls herself to the top rope, wiping blood from her lip.
The crowd knows what’s coming.
She dives for a moonsault…..but Centurion rolls away! Atara crashes and burns!
TODD: Nobody home!
BAMA: And when nobody’s home, you don’t even get a refund on the flight! She’s going to be paying for that mistake, FULL COST!
Centurion drags himself up by the ropes, groaning. He spots a kendo stick lying near the apron and grabs it.
He raises it overhead and smacks Atara across the back!
Another strike! And another!
The welts are instant, red and raw.
Atara crawls toward the ropes, grimacing. Centurion drops the stick and pulls her upright by the hair. He hooks her arms again…..
1000 Mile Slam!
He falls forward for the cover!
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!!
The crowd explodes with chants of ‘OPA!’.
TODD: How in the world did she do that?!
BAMA: Divine intervention, Toddy! She’s a goddess in the flesh!
Centurion slaps the mat, exhausted. He looks out at the fans, eyes glazed with disbelief.
Atara, gasping for air, crawls toward the corner. She drags herself up, one rope at a time.
Centurion charges in, but she sidesteps, grabs the kendo stick, and CRACKS him in the side of the skull!
He wobbles.
She drops the stick and hooks him for a snap DDT!
Both lie still. The referee hesitates, then begins a ten count.
TODD: Both competitors are down now! They’ve both given it all they have, and now, their tanks are running on empty!
One…
Two…
Three…
Four…
Atara crawls toward him, draping an arm across his chest.
1!
2!!!
3-No! Centurion kicks out again!
TODD: How much more can they give?
BAMA: Whatever’s left, Todd. Whatever’s left.
They both drag themselves up by the ropes, eyes glassy, bodies trembling.
Atara swings wildly, but Centurion ducks. He then scoops her up in a fireman’s carry!
She elbows him once. Twice. She slides down his back—but he grabs her arm and locks in the Fall of Rome!
Atara screams, clawing at the mat. She refuses to tap, using her free leg to roll them over. She fights her way to the ropes—no breaks in X-Treme Rulez, but she uses them to pull herself up.
So Centurion releases the hold, spins, and hits a massive clothesline!
He collapses to a knee. Atara somehow pulls herself upright again.
BAMA: This is pure stubbornness now!
TODD: I don’t think either one knows how to stop!
They exchange punches in the center of the ring. Atara’s are coming in faster, but Centurion’s are coming in heavier.
Right from Atara. Left from Centurion.
Knee from Atara! Forearm from Centurion!
Atara hits the ropes for one last Judgement of Paris!
Centurion catches her out of the air—lifts—and drills her with Fabula Nova Crystallis onto a previously mangled steel chair!
He collapses from exhaustion, going limp right atop her.
1!
2!!!
3!!!
The crowd erupts in a standing ovation as Centurion rolls off, both competitors barely conscious.
TODD: What a match! What a war!
BAMA: The man’s a relic, but he’s a relic forged outta steel! He survived the wrath of Anarchy’s Alpha Pussy tonight! He may have just earned himself a shot at ‘Big Blue’, Anarchy’s grand prize!
TODD: Atara Raven gave everything she had, but experience and grit won out in the end! Centurion has to be a frontrunner for the next #1 contender to her belt!
BAMA: Either way somebody better give ‘em both an ice bath and a halo, ‘cause they just went to hell and back!
Centurion leans against the ropes, bloodied and shaking, as the referee raises his arm. Atara sits up across the ring, sweat and hair clinging to her face. She nods once, eyes locked on the victor. But Centurion’s eyes are caught elsewhere…in fact, Centurion’s gaze hasn’t left the Anarchy Championship ever since his hand was raised!
TODD: The fans came for chaos, and they got the stuff of legend!
BAMA: That’s Anarchy, baby. That’s XWF wrestling!
XXXVI ©
- vs -
'SPOILED' SUMMER PAGE
REVOLUTION CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH!
PURE RULES MATCH! |
S&M By Rhianna will play throughout the arena as the crowd cheers while Summer walks down the aisle. Summer gets to the ring side and walks up the ring stairs. Summer looks out at the crowd and raises her arms out to the crowd as the crowd cheers louder.
TODD: Here we go, Bama! Main Event time!
BAMA: That’s right Toddrick! We’re starting it off with the challenger, “Spoiled” Summer Page! The Revolution title is on the line in a pure rules match!
TODD: Yes, Summer chose the stipulation in her pre-match promo, where she spun a wheel of stipulations!
Summer turns her attention to inside the ring where she motions to the referee to open the bottom and middle ropes so they can enter. Summer walks over to the closest ring corner and climbs up to the middle turnbuckle.
Full black.
The stage alights in red. Smoke gathers around the stage. Gods by Sleep Token plays as XXXVI appears, rising up out of the red lights amidst the smoke, his hands gathered in prayer, Revolution title around his waist and Anarchy tag team title buckled around his neck. He steps out onto the stage and takes in the mixed reaction from the crowd. He shakes out his head and shoulders and begins to walk down the ramp, hands still in prayer pose. Usually, his manager CIX appears, but she is nowhere to be found.
TODD: Looks like the champ is going it alone tonight! Our double champion XXXVI is here and he’s ready to defend his Revolution championship!
BAMA: Thirty-six Two-Belts is here! After an impressive win in the debut match for The Director, XXXVI won the Anarchy Tag Team championship from a solo Thunder Knuckles on the Halloween edition of our show.
TODD: Don’t let our Anarchy champion hear you say that, Bama.
BAMA: If Atara Raven wanted to call herself Atty Two-Belts, she should have beaten Centurion at Spooky Savage!
TODD: But “Psycho” Solomon stole the X-Treme title before the match even took place!
BAMA: It’s not stealing under 24/7 rules, Toddrick. Centurion should have been more careful. But now in War Games, she will have another chance to hold two belts. But back to the match at hand, Todd.
Half way down, he spreads his hands apart and reaches out both arms in T-Pose as he crouches, sauntering down the rest of the ramp toward the ring. He climbs onto the apron, outstretches his arms and then enters, rolling backward over the top rope and spins toward the center of the ring, arms outstretched like a helicopter. He then sits, cross legged in the dead center of the ring, hands once again in prayer pose and bows his head. Full black again, then a single, red cone of light bathes him in the ring as fire explodes out of each turnbuckle. He awaits the match starting.
XXXVI ©
-
vs
-
'SPOILED' SUMMER PAGE
REVOLUTION CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH!
SUMMER PAGE’S PICK - PURE RULES MATCH!
|
The champion extends his hand for a handshake and Summer Page eyes him, unsure whether to trust the gesture. Eventually, she accepts and they shake hands, customary of the code of honor in pure rules matches.
TODD: Sportsmanship!
BAMA: Indeed, but now the real fight begins.
Summer takes control early with a series of strikes and submission attempts, which XXXVI manages to escape before she can fully lock them in. The champion catches her off guard with a spinning back fist, followed by a German suplex and a Boston Crab. He locks it in tight and she makes her way toward the ropes. She grabs it!
ROPE BREAK! Summer Page has two remaining!
|
Summer comes back with a vengeance. Snap suplex! Snap DDT! She goes for a pin.
1…
2…
TODD: No! He kicks out! I thought she had it there!
BAMA: That was a close call, Todd.
TODD: And now they are both up and trading blows!
Sling blade from XXXVI. He goes to the top rope and leaps with a frog splash!
But Summer got her knees up just in time! She rolls him up with a school boy.
1…2…
He gets a hand on the bottom rope!
| ROPE BREAK! XXXVI has two remaining! |
TODD: What a match we are witnessing here, Bama! On Monday we witnessed Anarchy’s own Reggie Estrada trick Tatiana Jolee into using a closed fist. I wonder if either competitor here will use their creativity in a similar way.
BAMA: Anything can happen here on the go-home show for War Games, Todd!
Back in the ring, the two competitors face off, circling each other in the center. XXVI charges and eats a “Total Knockout” superkick from Page. He stumbles. Superkick from XXXVI, he returns the favor. She stumbles. They stagger toward each other and stand forehead to forehead. Forearm strike from Summer. Another from XXXVI!
TODD: These two are so evenly matched!
BAMA: What a treat to watch!
Suplex from XXXVI, followed by an Asai moonsault. XXXVI goes for a pin. Kickout at 1!
Chick kick from Summer! MPME off the top rope! Summer pins. 1…
2…
XXXVI gets his foot on the rope.
| ROPE BREAK! XXXVI has only one remaining! |
TODD: I thought we had a new champ!
BAMA: He’s got to be careful. He only has one rope break left! We could very well have a new champ here tonight.
XXXVI gets behind and drops here with a reverse DDT. As she makes her way to her feet, he springboards off the top rope and hits her with a flying cutter. He grabs her by the legs and locks in Tiptoe Through the Tulips, his signature submission move.
TODD: He’s got that signature kneeling reverse sharpshooter locked in!
BAMA: I think it’s more of an inverted Scorpion Deathlock, but I digress. This could be bad for Summer Page!
The champ wrenches it in. No! She gets to the rope. The referee tells him to break the hold.
| ROPE BREAK! Summer Page has only one remaining! |
Summer knocks the champion down. She locks him in a figure four leglock. He tries to move toward the ropes, but she bridges into her own version of a figure 8. XXXVI cries out in pain with the added pressure from the leverage.
TODD: She calls that move the Perfect 10!
BAMA: Fitting, Todd! He may be able to reach the ropes, but then he’ll have no rope breaks left!
TODD: Or, he could just tap out and we’ll have a new champion before he can even make one defense!
BAMA: She has already pinned him twice. Once in a triple threat match and again in a tag team match.
XXVI reaches the ropes, but he isn’t trying to grab them. He screams and with one big push, he slides under the bottom rope, taking Summer with him! She loosens the hold by nature of his body falling to the outside of the ring! Summer gets up and she’s frustrated. Technically he didn’t use a rope break!
XXXVI, clearly in pain from the Perfect 10, fights back. Irish whip. Hurricanrana! XXXVI with a standing shooting star press and hooks the leg for a pin. 1…
2…
She gets a foot on the bottom rope just barely!
| ROPE BREAK! Summer Page has no more remaining! |
She hits him with a tilt-a-whirl into a Russian leg sweep! Another figure four. No, XXXVI gets his hand on the rope!
| ROPE BREAK! XXXVI has no more remaining! |
XXXVI is up. Summer is also up. She goes for a kick. He catches it! Dragon screw. Elbow drop from XXXVI. He climbs the top rope, steadies himself and leaps, a shooting star into a leg drop and he connects!
TODD: Doo doo doo doo! Doo doo doo doo doo!
BAMA: It’s the Final Countdown!
TODD: She has no rope breaks left!
BAMA: But neither does he!
XXXVI doesn’t go for the pin. He locks her legs with his own and pulls her neck up from behind. Romero special! He stretches her, bends her neck back further and locks in a dragon sleeper while still in the Romero special position! It’s the Third Eye Bind! She reaches for the ropes, but it’s too far away. She grabs the referee’s shirt as XXXVI tightens his grip. The referee pushes her hand off and warns her. The push is enough to get her closer to the ropes. She grabs onto the middle rope! But no, she has no rope breaks remaining. It doesn’t matter. The blood rushes to her head. Her body goes limp. The referee checks in on her and lifts her arm once, twice and three times! He calls for the bell.
| WINNER AND STILL REVOLUTION CHAMPION: XXXVI |
XXXVI loosens the hold and stands as the referee raises his hand in victory and “Gods” by Sleep Token blares throughout the Fabrik Madrid. On the stage, The Director appears. He begins to applaud as the crowd boos. He makes his way to the ring and motions for a microphone.
The Director: Congratulations, my weapon. I knew you could do it. Now, as we head into War Games, I notice something is missing from the card.
He adjusts the Anarchy tag team championship on his shoulder, looks at it and then over at the other title on his partner’s shoulder.
The Director: Here’s my pitch. The Director and XXXVI present: The Anarchy Tag Team championship open challenge at War Games! We will be there and we challenge any two competitors in the back brave enough to step up to face us with the Anarchy tag team titles on the line! So, Lichter, Trillionaires? Ball is in your court. You do like ratings and money, right? We won our individual battles tonight, but now we’re ready for War!
HUGE THANKS TO ALL OF OUR MATCHWRITERS
PETER PRINCIPLE
SOLOMON KLINE
CHARLIE NICKLES
“VAMP” ARROYO
& Thanks to everyone who RPed! |
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