Simmer down, class. It's time for History.

Today's subject: Failed title shots.

Nightmare: You probably can't remember much, probably because I dropped you on that hydrocephalic head of yours pretty hard last night, but I just took everything that you had and swept you off to irrelevancy. Have fun trading quarters for children's lost teeth, loser.

Vyper: You let Crimson Cobra win the tag titles. Really? Think of Cobra as a Kleenex, because I did the wrestling equivalent of shooting a nice, big load of your mom's favorite snack into him, wadded him up, and threw him away. And he still beat you. You don't deserve a title shot.

Punk: Last, and almost assuredly least, there's you. When you could be bothered to remove your grimy little mouth away from Ann Thraxx's blue waffle long enough to get into the ring you failed to capture the X-Treme title- a title that was held by John Madison's personal bidet, Luca Arzegotti. You're not in my league, junior.

Frankly, you should all hang your head in shame. Not a single one of you has the right to think you belong in the same ring as me.

1X - GOAT.