First off....

Quote:If you don't know what a blue waffle is run a google search, believe me it isn't a waffle at all.

...DON'T ANYONE DO THIS EVER! Ehhhh, who am I kidding you sick fucks probably all know what it is already....

First off, with all seriousness, I just wanted to say welcome. As someone who has bounced around women's only divisions, and a couple female centric feds, I'm a proponent of lady characters wrestling for lady titles. I hope you stick around and continue to develop.

As intro's go, I think it was pretty good. I think you clearly identified what the character's gimmick is and the stark differences between their personalities. I've seen Jeckyll/Hyde characters like this before on rare occasions (Engy is one too to a limited extent). Zay is very cute and I guess my only critique there would be to differentiate her even more by having her be 100% squeaky clean. Not even any cussing. Total innocent.

The trash talk was serviceable, though a bit flat at times. I'm going to give you the same advice I give everyone, read back your work out loud to see if your dialogue sounds like something someone would actually say. It wasn't super egregious but there was some clumsy phrasing here and there, like this one:

Quote:The only thing regarding the shortest time and Zay is going to be in terms of having the shortest time of is sex.

Proofreading is also good. I mean, I personally am fairly liberal on this front. So long as it's understandable I'm totally willing to let an occasional misspell or something slide, but some of the promo reviewers are pretty firm on it just as an FYI. Again, I caught a few things but it's not like it was all over the place.

Overall, I think it was a competent first effort and you clearly have some room to grow and develop this character, maybe even eventually exploring how she got the way she is. BTW, the fact that you opened by not discussing that and leaving it up to people's imagination is always a solid move, for me. Leaving people wanting more is always a good thing.