The Super Duper Wacky Tastic Rassling Federation presents Tuesday Night Wackiness Episode One, simply titled "Creativity is Dead, Which Makes This Title Much Easier to Book."

Cameras pan around in the much esteemed, what arena are we in, again? No matter, the excited crowd of like three, maybe even four dozen people gathered in the High School Gymnasium are on their feet and cheering, before the camera feed cuts to our totally kick ass intro video, which uses the song "Lotus" by Cage the Elephant.



We're then taken to the commentator's desk, where we see two overpaid wastes of roster space our commentators, Brad Maddox and Gavin Loudspeaker, who are eager to get this show on the road, probably because we'll run over our time slot if we dick around any longer.

Gavin Loudspeaker: "Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the very first episode of SDWTRF, Tuesday Night Wackiness! I am Gavin Loudspeaker!"

Out of view of the camera, Loudspeaker does that weird thing with his arm like he's pulling a microphone down from the ceiling, Ken Anderson style. Instead of that shit, we see Brad Maddox sitting there, not giving a fuck.

Brad Maddox: "And I'm the good commentator."

With their obligatory two minutes of screen time over and done with, we cut back past the sea of smarks and to the ring, where we see something a lot more interesting; our lovely ring announcer, Scarlett Bordeaux. Time to get the first match on this card on the road!

Scarlett Bordeaux: "The first match of the evening, scheduled for one fall, is the first match of the 'Creative's Got Nothing Else For You!' Championship Tournament! Introducing first; from Murray, Kentucky. Weighing one hundred, eighty four pounds, Chuck Taylor!"

Chuck Taylor makes his way down to the ring, as the crowd boos him relentlessly. At one point, he even goes so far to fake cry, gaining the fans sympathy, only to turn on them.

Scarlett Bordeaux: "And his opponent, weighing in at one hundred, seventy three pounds! The Old Timey King of Swing, Dasher Hatfield!"

Dasher Hatfield walks to the ring to an overwhelming positive response from the crowd! Wow, someone over in a promotion that has a TV deal? Someone who isn't Daniel Bryan, at the very least? Holy shit!


So yeah, this match happened. Fuck, it started the whole show! What you would expect from this match is likely what you got, unless you expected something that wasn't totally awesome. Dasher and Chuck pulled out their usual comedy antics and it went over well with the 48 people watching live. When it came time to end the match, Gargano distracted the ref while Taylor gave Dasher a low blow, and hit the Omega Driver for the pinfall victory.


We then cut to a backstage area, possibly one of the classrooms, where we see BrawlDango, laid out on the ground. Written on the ground in blood (more likely, red marked and giant stencil) is the phrase "We're coming!"

Due to the fact that we gave every match here too much time, there will be no more entrances. So, we're really paying three people to do nothing but just stand there. Fuck everything.


In what could be considered a match that went on too long, Sandow gave Low Ki everything he had. Ki responded by beating the fucking shit out of Sandow for like five minutes straight. Seriously, five minutes of the good guy dominating? Why doesn't Sandow have enough of a moveset to match Ki's. Ki ends it with the whatever the fuck he's calling dat double foot stomp and gets dat win to move on to the semi finals.


We're taken to the ring, where Chuck Taylor and the other two members of FIST stand in the ring. Why wasn't this done after Taylor's win earlier in the night? To summarize, Taylor cuts a promo about how he's going to win the whole tournament and that Gargano and Icarus are going to win the Best Frienimies Championships whenever we put those on the line. They then close by yelling random words.


Due the attack on Brawler earlier in the night, he doesn't even come out. Axel gets a countout victory.


We wasted all of our money on a hype video for the newest tag team in our division, who probably won't be as big of a draw as we hope they will. Our video/tech guys fucked it up and it doesn't exist. Oh well, Kota Ibushi and Low Ki. The Asian Sensations.


In a technical masterpiece, we saw these two guys go all out for nearly seventeen minutes before the match ended with a bullshit countout finish, with O'Reilly sneaking back into the ring right before the ten count.



In a crazy fucking spotfest type match, we saw an incredible amount of action packed within the 20 minutes that the match was given. Surprisingly, Kyle O'Reilly lasted six minutes before getting hit with dat Curtis Axel move and pinned for the three count.


Then, Low Ki went for his double foot stomp, which Taylor rolled out of the way from and quickly hit an Omega Driver for the pin.


An interesting exchange from Axel and Taylor closes out the match, with Taylor reversing dat Axel finisher with an Omega Driver for the pinfall victory.


The lights then go out, and we swear the school paid their electric bill. This is a part of the entertainment. When the lights come back on, we see the Wyatt family beating down Taylor and once finished, laying him out in a cross and laying the belt on the ground next to him. Wyatt grabs the mic, and in his calm voice simply says...

Bray Wyatt: "We're here..."

Our shitty show then goes off air. Fade to black.