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Taylor Mayde · (10-22-2017)

It is with a heavy heart that I must inform the XWF community---fans, promoters, superstars alike--that beloved commentator Jim Ross has been relieved of his duties as the lead commentator for Saturday Night Savage. My office, with full backing from JT Washington and Jefferson Jackson, has conducted an investigation and has come to the conclusion that Jim Ross was selling urine samples to ever-banned Gabe Reno. Reno was on drugs the entire time and Jim Ross was covering for him by selling him clean urine. I first noticed this when a urine sample provided smelled my bourbon and barbecue sauce. It is the same way that Jim's urine always smells, and the name on the sample was Gabe Reno.

Before I could confront Mr. Reno about his actions, he was a victim of an unfortunate fall at Leap of Faith and cannot be contacted. Mr. Ross did come clean, however, when confronted and explained that he needed to make a little extra money now that his wife was gone.

As much as I understand and sympathize with this, it is still not a permitted action per the XWF contract stipulations, so necessary procedures had to happen. We will all miss Jim Ross and we wish him the best in future endeavors. Audrey Dinklage is the new Savage Commentator next to Huey D. Louie, and she did a great job last night.

That being said, if anyone has any information on the whereabouts of Gabe Reno please stop by my office. He is being prosecuted for contract breech, lying under oath and just, well, being a general douchebag.

That is all for now and I will be seeing all of you before Warfare to make sure your samples check out as well."

drezdin5788 · **10-23-2017, 09:44 AM**

When all of a sudden they added you?

Jefferson Jackson · **10-23-2017, 11:09 AM**

Miss Mayde was added to the XWF staff to ensure the safety and health for ALL competitors on the Xtreme Wrestling Federation roster. While adding another salary to the XWF offices may seem a bit unnecessary, I feel the money saved in the long run as far as lost time injuries, no-showing events, and just all-round company morale will show more than not enforcing this at all. After all, I'm just doing my job here.

Taylor Mayde is a young, kind, and understanding individual and is NOT out to head hunt anyone, but protect you. I say with confidence that this new enforced policy will only boost performance within the XWF.

If you have any questions what-so-ever regarding the policy, please direct them to our new Director of Drug Testing & Analysis, herself, Miss Taylor Mayde.

Thank you.

Neville Sinclair · **10-23-2017, 11:33 AM**

I, for one, would like to welcome Miss Mayde to the federation. It's a great thing to have added accountability for those who call this federation home. I can only hope your testing has a healthy allowance for alcohol in one's system. Welcome.

Taylor Mayde · **10-23-2017, 11:45 AM**

(10-23-2017, 11:33 AM)Neville Sinclair Said: I, for one, would like to welcome Miss Mayde to the federation. It's a great thing to have added accountability for those who call this federation home. I can only hope your testing has a healthy allowance for alcohol in one's system. Welcome.

"Mr. Sinclair. Alcohol is not illegal for individuals over the age of 21. Although I do not recommend showing up to XWF events intoxicated, my job here is to ensure that nobody gains and unfair advantage by using performance-enhancing substances or substances that will result in injury to said superstar or potential death. Like JJ said we have the best interest of all superstars here in mind. If you can handle a little bit of alcohol in your system I have no problems with it. You have been a great champion and have displayed nothing but the utmost integrity and respect. If you need to take a few sips of scotch in order to maintain the level you have been performing at then by all means go right ahead.

You ARE, however, required just like everybody else to submit a urine sample to me before every show. If there are any questions at all I will look at other methods such as hair follicle test or blood samples or what not but if it's just alcohol in your system as long as it is a respectable level you have nothing to worry about. Thank you for your inquiry and my office doors are always open"

The Blue Tango · (10-23-2017)

BEFORE EVERY SHOW?! Bitch I at least need six months.

Darius Xavier · (10-23-2017)

(10-23-2017, 11:50 AM)Calypso! Said: BEFORE EVERY SHOW?! Bitch I at least need six months.

Now, let's be realistic here, Cal. Are we sure that six months is enough time?

The Blue Tango · **10-23-2017, 12:05 PM**

You tell me, you're the Dr. of Medicine and Technology, bruh. I just don't want new girl popping me without fair warning. You gotta give fair warning.

Neville Sinclair · **10-23-2017, 01:38 PM**

(10-23-2017, 11:50 AM)Calypso! Said: BEFORE EVERY SHOW?! Bitch I at least need six months.

It's time to get off (terrible choice of words...) those erectile dysfunction pills Caypso!

The Blue Tango · **10-23-2017, 01:49 PM**

(10-23-2017, 01:38 PM)Neville Sinclair Said:
(10-23-2017, 11:50 AM)Calypso! Said: BEFORE EVERY SHOW?! Bitch I at least need six months.

It's time to get off (terrible choice of words...) those erectile dysfunction pills Caypso!

Funny joke, bruh, but Calypso! don't need no performance enhancers, duh, #5xFederweightChamp.... Whether they pertain to the ring or Calypso's Love Nest. Don't act so dumb, smart guy.

Equinox · **10-23-2017, 04:24 PM**

Better call Saul.

Barney Green · **10-23-2017, 04:28 PM**

I have been showing up drunk for years to XWF events. It's a pregame ritual to get completely wasted beforehand and hope for the best but expect the worst.

Bjorn Felhammen · (10-24-2017)

Holy fucking shit, Bjorn comes out of nowhere riding on a motorized ice chest, tossing out his signature Blüd.

Ding motha fuckin dong. Looka here bitch, ain't no dame gonna walk into the land of Xtreme and stop this guy from partying it up. That's what makes this place awesome to behold. We need to be us, we need to cut loose, drink some juice, ride a moose, and pop a goose.*hic* Trying to take that away isn't gonna help the XWF, but make shit worse. And if Vinnie hired ya, he needs a swift kick in those scrumptious scrotes of his. Guy literally mainlined crystal out of Roxy's crack and went on to be a legend. I'm on protest and I hereby declare The Fallen Hammer open for business.

Taylor Mayde · **10-23-2017, 05:49 PM**

(10-23-2017, 05:18 PM)Bjorn Felhammen Said: Holy fucking shit, Bjorn comes out of nowhere riding on a motorized ice chest, tossing out his signature Blüd.

Ding motha fuckin dong. Looka here bitch, ain't no dame gonna walk into the land of Xtreme and stop this guy from partying it up. That's what makes this place awesome to behold. We need to be us, we need to cut loose, drink some juice, ride a moose, and pop a goose.*hic* Trying to take that away isn't gonna help the XWF, but make shit worse. And if Vinnie hired ya, he needs a swift kick in those scrumptious scrotes of his. Guy literally mainlined crystal out of Roxy's crack and went on to be a legend. I'm on protest and I hereby declare The Fallen Hammer open for business.

Based on your wonderful, and I'm being generous, comprehension of the English spoken language I'm going to go ahead and assume that you also need to be tested

Taylor Mayde · **10-23-2017, 05:49 PM**

(10-23-2017, 05:49 PM)Taylor Mayde Said:
(10-23-2017, 05:18 PM)Bjorn Felhammen Said: Holy fucking shit, Bjorn comes out of nowhere riding on a motorized ice chest, tossing out his signature Blüd.

Ding motha fuckin dong. Looka here bitch, ain't no dame gonna walk into the land of Xtreme and stop this guy from partying it up. That's what makes this place awesome to behold. We need to be us, we need to cut loose, drink some juice, ride a moose, and pop a goose.*hic* Trying to take that away isn't gonna help the XWF, but make shit worse. And if Vinnie hired ya, he needs a swift kick in those scrumptious scrotes of his. Guy literally mainlined crystal out of Roxy's crack and went on to be a legend. I'm on protest and I hereby declare The Fallen Hammer open for business.

Based on your wonderful, and I'm being generous, comprehension of the English spoken language I'm going to go ahead and assume that you also need to be tested

Tommy Wish · **10-23-2017, 06:05 PM**

To be honest, it wouldn't surprise me that half of the roster who still wrestles could even pass a blue piss test. So Taylor, unless you got actual leverage on testing these fucks on shit, then your wasting the company and your time.

Your better off testing for all the concussions that these wackos got, ya feel me?

Cadryn Tiberius · **10-23-2017, 06:13 PM**

(10-23-2017, 05:18 PM)Bjorn Felhammen Said: Holy fucking shit, Bjorn comes out of nowhere riding on a motorized ice chest, tossing out his signature Blüd.

Ding motha fuckin dong. Looka here bitch, ain't no dame gonna walk into the land of Xtreme and stop this guy from partying it up. That's what makes this place awesome to behold. We need to be us, we need to cut loose, drink some juice, ride a moose, and pop a goose.*hic* Trying to take that away isn't gonna help the XWF, but make shit worse. And if Vinnie hired ya, he needs a swift kick in those scrumptious scrotes of his. Guy literally mainlined crystal out of Roxy's crack and went on to be a legend. I'm on protest and I hereby declare The Fallen Hammer open for business.

This fuckin' guy, man.

Bjorn Felhammen · **10-23-2017, 07:29 PM**

There ain't a test I haven't failed lady, you think it's just cold ones in this here ice chest? I got a cure for every sickness in there, even for that up tight ass of yours.

Velo pops himself out of the bushes in all his gloriousness and prances around like a show horse.

Looks like Velo found the last again, look at him go.

"The Wolf of Afghanistan" Joshua Schuler · **10-23-2017, 08:03 PM**

Bearded War Pig takes a drag on his "Hog's Leg" as the grounded up Alaskan Thunder Fuck catches fire inside the element rolling paper, THC filled smoke rolls out of the joint and into BWP's mouth and lungs. Exhaling out his nose, he blows a few smoke rings too.

"Holy fuck this shit is da bomb diggity! Do you want a puff sweet tits?"

Bearded War Pig takes a few more drags before extending his very fat doobie toward Taylor Mayde.

Bjorn Felhammen · **10-23-2017, 08:08 PM**

(10-23-2017, 08:03 PM)Bearded War Pig Said: Bearded War Pig takes a drag on his "Hog's Leg" as the grounded up Alaskan Thunder Fuck catches fire inside the element rolling paper, THC filled smoke rolls out of the joint and into BWP's mouth and lungs. Exhaling out his nose, he blows a few smoke rings too.

"Holy fuck this shit is da bomb diggity! Do you want a puff sweet tits?"

Bearded War Pig takes a few more drags before extending his very fat doobie toward Taylor Mayde.

I think the last be needing something else to wrap her lips around, that face looks taylor made for a pounding.

Neville Sinclair · (10-24-2017)

(10-23-2017, 05:49 PM)Taylor Mayde Said:
(10-23-2017, 05:49 PM)Taylor Mayde Said:
(10-23-2017, 05:18 PM)Bjorn Felhammen Said: Holy fucking shit, Bjorn comes out of nowhere riding on a motorized ice chest, tossing out his signature Blüd.

Ding motha fuckin dong. Looka here bitch, ain't no dame gonna walk into the land of Xtreme and stop this guy from partying it up. That's what makes this place awesome to behold. We need to be us, we need to cut loose, drink some juice, ride a moose, and pop a goose.*hic* Trying to take that away isn't gonna help the XWF, but make shit worse. And if Vinnie hired ya, he needs a swift kick in those scrumptious scrotes of his. Guy literally mainlined crystal out of Roxy's crack and went on to be a legend. I'm on protest and I hereby declare The Fallen Hammer open for business.

Based on your wonderful, and I'm being generous, comprehension of the English spoken language I'm going to go ahead and assume that you also need to be tested

Oh God, I like her already. Good hire, XWF, good hire.

Finn Kühn · **10-24-2017, 09:52 AM**

(10-23-2017, 05:18 PM)Bjorn Felhammen Said: Holy fucking shit, Bjorn comes out of nowhere riding on a motorized ice chest, tossing out his signature Blüd.

Ding motha fuckin dong. Looka here bitch, ain't no dame gonna walk into the land of Xtreme and stop this guy from partying it up. That's what makes this place awesome to behold. We need to be us, we need to cut loose, drink some juice, ride a moose, and pop a goose.*hic* Trying to take that away isn't gonna help the XWF, but make shit worse. And if Vinnie hired ya, he needs a swift kick in those scrumptious scrotes of his. Guy literally mainlined crystal out of Roxy's crack and went on to be a legend. I'm on protest and I hereby declare The Fallen Hammer open for business.

"Oh man, exactly what this federation needs. Another fucking

who has less brain cells than probably the amount of books he reads."

Bjorn Felhammen · **10-24-2017, 10:16 AM**

What the blazes are brain cells? I've fought wars, in the ring and on the battlefield. I've lost a dick for this company and I'll be damned if some pansy can waltz through here and tell me I'm not allowed to enjoy myself after the sacrifices I've made. Don't make me go Norwexican on your ass and feed you to Velo. It's been three hours since my last drink, and I don't think you understand the consequences of tempting a sober Viking.

~~Grande Ricardo~~ · (10-24-2017)

"Can my friend Mike do the job? He's trilingual. Cause he's trying to be lingual."

Bjorn Felhammen · **10-24-2017, 10:28 AM**

I haven't a clue what you are speaking about, but I'd like to offer you a drink.

Finn Kühn · **10-24-2017, 10:31 AM**

(10-24-2017, 10:16 AM)Bjorn Felhammen Said: What the blazes are brain cells? I've fought wars, in the ring and on the battlefield. I've lost a dick for this company and I'll be damned if some pansy can waltz through here and tell me I'm not allowed to enjoy myself after the sacrifices I've made. Don't make me go Norwexican on your ass and feed you to Velo. It's been three hours since my last drink, and I don't think you understand the consequences of tempting a sober Viking.

"I'm sorry, but in order to understand you I need you to stop choking on the semen still lodged in your throat from that hooker you no doubt were with last night, and speak clearly."

"ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER. DO YOU SPEAK IT?"

Bjorn Felhammen · **10-24-2017, 10:35 AM**

You sure you wish to go down this road?

drezdin5788 · **10-24-2017, 11:01 AM**

(10-23-2017, 11:09 AM)Jefferson Jackson Said: Miss Mayde was added to the XWF staff to ensure the safety and health for ALL competitors on the Xtreme Wrestling Federation roster. While adding another salary to the XWF offices may seem a bit unnecessary, I feel the money saved in the long run as far as lost time injuries, no-showing events, and just all-round company morale will show more than not enforcing this at all. After all, I'm just doing my job here.

Taylor Mayde is a young, kind, and understanding individual and is NOT out to head hunt anyone, but protect you. I say with confidence that this new enforced policy will only boost performance within the XWF.

If you have any questions what-so-ever regarding the policy, please direct them to our new Director of Drug Testing & Analysis, herself, Miss Taylor Mayde.

Thank you.

Then what about me? I at least twice tried to sell weed. I mean jr gets fired but I don't get suspended for selling weed.......sweet!

~~Grande Ricardo~~ · **10-24-2017, 03:32 PM**

"So, is my move being called "I do Cocaine" gonna be an issue? And what about me competing with an anus full of potatoes?"

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **10-24-2017, 10:04 PM**

Suck my dick! I'm not taking a pee test every fuckin' week. We all know i'll pass easily. after i have sex with my wife, I take a piss and it comes out clean as a whistle..

so yeah.. im never gonna fail and if u think u will trick me into failing.. my lawyers and doctors will sue your ass ;)

have a nice day

Neville Sinclair · **10-26-2017, 04:10 AM**

(10-24-2017, 10:04 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: Suck my dick! I'm not taking a pee test every fuckin' week. We all know i'll pass easily. after i have sex with my wife, I take a piss and it comes out clean as a whistle..

so yeah.. im never gonna fail and if u think u will trick me into failing.. my lawyers and doctors will sue your ass ;)

have a nice day

I'm curious what everyone thinks is the funniest part to this statement... that he wants us to think he's not on drugs, or that he wants us to believe his wife still has sex with him...

The Engineer · **10-26-2017, 04:37 AM**

(10-26-2017, 04:10 AM)Neville Sinclair Said:
(10-24-2017, 10:04 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: Suck my dick! I'm not taking a pee test every fuckin' week. We all know i'll pass easily. after i have sex with my wife, I take a piss and it comes out clean as a whistle..

so yeah.. im never gonna fail and if u think u will trick me into failing.. my lawyers and doctors will sue your ass ;)

have a nice day

I'm curious what everyone thinks is the funniest part to this statement... that he wants us to think he's not on drugs, or that he wants us to believe his wife still has sex with him...

The funniest part is the obvious brain damage.

drezdin5788 · **10-26-2017, 09:05 AM**

(10-24-2017, 10:04 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: Suck my dick! I'm not taking a pee test every fuckin' week. We all know i'll pass easily. after i have sex with my wife, I take a piss and it comes out clean as a whistle..

so yeah.. im never gonna fail and if u think u will trick me into failing.. my lawyers and doctors will sue your ass ;)

have a nice day

Your docs and lawyers ain goin to help shit brudda

drezdin5788 · **10-26-2017, 09:08 AM**

Since selling pee samples are illegal and not weed.......I got 5 kinds of weed, who da fuck wants some?

Oh and engy, he already had brain damage long before

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **10-26-2017, 08:37 PM**

(10-26-2017, 09:05 AM)drezdin5788 Said:
(10-24-2017, 10:04 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: Suck my dick! I'm not taking a pee test every fuckin' week. We all know i'll pass easily. after i have sex with my wife, I take a piss and it comes out clean as a whistle..

so yeah.. im never gonna fail and if u think u will trick me into failing.. my lawyers and doctors will sue your ass ;)

have a nice day
Your docs and lawyers ain goin to help shit brudda

Heh I think any doctor in the world could fix u after I break all your bones in that body of yours. Now stfu and suck my super dick

drezdin5788 · **10-27-2017, 09:02 AM**

Say it don't spray! Peter, your words for everyone that you spew put it has less meaning by it. I mean if I had nickel for every time I heard that I would be rich.

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **10-27-2017, 10:32 AM**

But ud still be not as rich as me

drezdin5788 · **10-28-2017, 07:10 AM**

(10-27-2017, 10:32 AM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: But ud still be not as rich as me

Still none the less,

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **10-28-2017, 08:58 PM**

Nah im still Richie rich..

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