(("Loverboy" Vinnie Lane is sitting inside a crowded bar with Alex Braun and Donny Brooks. They each have several empty beer bottles strewn around them - especially Donny, who seems to have have twice as much as anyone else. The three of them are bickering with one another as someone behind them sings bad karaoke along with Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'."

Loverboy: Look, Alex, rules are rules. I picked the song out of the pile at random, just like I was supposed to.

Alex: Yeah, but you're a singer! Of course you're gonna win the suicide karaoke game! You obviously put that song in there yourself and remembered which paper to pick up!

Loverboy: Hell no, man. I mean, yeah, I picked the song, but I put it in there because I thought it would be hilarious to watch Donny try and hit all the high notes.

Alex: Such bullshit.

((Alex reaches into the small pile of papers in the middle of the table and grabs one, then looks at it. His eyes widen and he slams the paper down onto the table top.))

Alex: You have got to be KIDDING me. Britney Spears?

Donny: Ha! That one was mine! Serves you right for making me get up there and sing MmmBop!

((The terrible singer's turn finishes up and the DJ waits for the two or three people to stop pity clapping before announcing the next turn.))

DJ: Alright! That was adequate! But seriously, no more Journey, okay? Looks like we have a bit of a treat up next, an actual singer! Give it up for XWF megastar, "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane!

((The crowd reacts a bit, though not too many people in Hope, Arkansas know who he is. Walking to the front, Loverboy grabs the mic from the DJ and stands in front of the monitor.))

Loverboy: Now... I haven't sang this song in at least ten years, back when it was my girlfriend's song for the two of us in High School, so forgive me for using the monitor. I want to take a second really quick to dedicate this song to my opponents this Monday night at XWF Madness - mot notably, Cain and Mastermind. You see, they are angry guys. They go through life alone and unloved. They don't know the touch of a woman's kiss, or the smell of her ass as she rocks back onto your face. No,these guys are in serious need of some romance. So, I think they deserve a serious fucking power ballad, especially considering the beating they are on the verge of receiving tomorrow night, am I right Arkansas!?

((The crowd pops for the mention of their home town, just like lemmings following one another to the edge. A powerful but soothing riff comes from the bar's speakers and Loverboy hits his cue like a pro. The high range falsetto of Steelheart's "I'll Never Let You Go" powers out of his throat and he hits the entire song without missing a beat, driving a lot of the women near him crazy.))



((While the song is wrapping up and the couples on the dance floor start to go back to their seats, LH Harrison walks into view and takes a seat with Alex and Donny.))

LH Harrison: Hey guys! You look like you're having a good time tonight.

((Harrison looks at Donny's collection of empties.))

LH Harrison: Maybe too much...

((A waitress in short cutoff jean shorts and a halter top asks Harrison what he'd like to drink, and rolls her eyes when he asks for a glass of water. Before she can walk away, Loverboy pops up behind her and gives her a slap on the ass, which brings a smile to her face.))

Loverboy: LH! Dude! You're at a bar with some serious partiers, and we need to be on the same page for our match tomorrow! What are you drinking, it's on me!

LH Harrison: Well... uh... every now and then I have a mojito...

Loverboy: Get him a beer, please. And a round of Jager shots for all of us - including one for you, sweet cheeks!

((Loverboy winks at the waitress as she blushes and walks away.))

Loverboy: You're just in time, man, me and the guys are playing suicide karaoke! You pick songs and put them into the pile here and we have to randomly pick what we sing. It's a great way to make an ass out of someone.

Alex: Yeeah, unless you can sing anything, like asshole Vinnie here.

Loverboy: The ol' Iceman here never did have the best sense of humor. So go ahead, man, here, write something down and toss it in the pile. Whatever you want. Then, you pick one.

LH Harrison: Hm, okay. Yeah, you know, this actually sounds like a lot of fun! And I might even enjoy singing up there. You might have a challenger to your vcal throne, Loverboy!

Loverboy: Haha, yeah right, LH! This is what I do, man! No worries, it's cool playing second fiddle when the first fiddle is a Stradivarius, you know what I mean, dude?

DJ: Okay! Can Donny Brooks come up and take his turn please!

Donny: Ah, shit...

Loverboy: Go get 'em, you bare knuckle bastard!

((Donny walks up to the stage and takes the mic as the waitress brings over LH Harrison's beer, five shot glasses filled with purplish liquid, and something crumpled in her hand which she sticks into Loverboy's palm while leaning over and whispering into his ear. Loverboy smiles wide and the waitress stands up, downs her shot, and walks away with a lick of her lips. Loverboy looks into his hand, nods, and then unravels a pair of sexy black thong panties, holding them up with both hands for Harrison to see.))

Loverboy: LH, how you like them apples, buddy? That's what a voice like an angel and a body like the devil gets you, same thing anywhere in the world.

LH Harrison: Yeah? Well, for your information, Vinnie, after you left the house earlier, Jessica and I made love.

Loverboy: Sweet! Did you do what I suggested?

LH Harrison: Ah, the spanking?

Loverboy: Yeah, man! You got to keep things spicy when you're married, you know?

LH Harrison. Yes, well, Jessica seemed confused when I asked her to do it in that position, but I must say... when I slapped her on the bottom, I think she really liked it.

Loverboy: I told you, dude! That chick will be chomping at the bit for her man to get home if you treat her right in the boudoir! Good job!

LH Harrison: It's crazy, Vinnie, but I feel like I might need to thank you... for helping me with my family! My girls loved you, my wife even thought you were charming, somehow... it's a miracle.

Loverboy: You're welcome, dude!

((Donny comes back to the table, having finished barking out a terrible rendition of Miley Cyrus' "Wrecking Ball" to a sea of shocked, silent faces from the bar patrons, and immediately drinks his shot. LH Harrison scribbles something onto a piece of paper and then drops into the middle of the table, mixing it with the others before pulling one out for himself. He looks it over with a smirk as Alex Braun gets up for his song, cussing under his breath.))

Loverboy: What you got there, LH? You nervous about getting up on stage?

LH Harrison: It's a surprise, Vinnie, and I'm not worried at all! I think maybe you should be, though!

Loverboy: I love a challenge! You're probably the toughest one I've got this week, too! Ha! You and me have really got it made this Monday. I'm pretty surprised that big XWF names like Shelby Cobra and Mastermind are shitting the bed so hard. We make a great team!

LH Harrison: I'm pretty surprised too, Vinnie. Not just with the lack of competition from those guys, but honestly I'm really surprised that you and I click so well. I thought you were a jerk, and it really got in my head for our match last week. Threw me off my game. But we have really hit our stride here. We're like... the best of both worlds.

Loverboy: That's it!

LH Harrison: What?

((Suddenly, a bit of a commotion comes from the background, where Alex Braun is stomping back to the table and grabbing his shot, then downing it in one motion.))

Alex: I'm not singing that fucking song, Vinnie, fuck you. It's god-boy's turn.

((The DJ calls Harrison's name, and Harrison looks momentarily nervous. Loverboy winks and slides the shot glass over to Harrison, picking up his own and gesturing for a toast. Harrison seems undecided about the thought of drinking, but picks his glass up, clinks it against Loverboy's, and then the two of them drain their Jager shots together. Harrison looks shocked by the drink and shakes his head, but smiles. LH gets up confidently and walks to the front.))

DJ: Looks like we have a local celebrity, folks! Hope's own, LH Harrison!

((The crowd pops bigger than it did for Loverboy, but Lane still grins and sips his beer while Harrison gets the mic and smiles.))

LH Harrison: Hey everyone! I hope everybody is having a good night, and it was good seeing... well, one of you... in church this morning. I'm going to sing this song and I hope you forgive me being out of practice. You don't have to clap, but what I would really appreciate from all of you is thoughts and prayers for me and my partner, Vinnie Lane over there, for our match tomorrow night in Atlanta. Not for our well being, though. We've got that covered. What I want you to pray for is that Cain and Mastermind don't come out of it too badly hurt. There's no way the two of them are ready for Loverboy and myself, but I'm not in the business of crippling anyone or ending careers. So, let's just all hope that sitting in that comfy chair all week hasn't made Mastermind so soft that he can't take a punch, and that Cain has a new body to possess other than the one I'm going to knock around the ring on Madness!

((The crowd cheers big time, including Loverboy who stands and whoops and whistles, clapping for Harrison.))

LH Harrison: Thanks everyone, and I hope you all tune in Monday night! Okay, Mister DJ, I'm ready!




((Loverboy starts to crack up as the opening notes to Creed's "Arms Wide Open" start to play. Alex and Donny bury their faces in their hands. Shockingly though, Harrison goes into the opening verse in perfect key, singing the words with passion and without even looking at the monitor for help. The bar crowd loves it as Harrison has them on their feet, dancing, and a few women near the front even have tears in their eyes.))

Loverboy: What... the... fuck...

((Harrison wraps the song up and bows to the crowd as they lose their minds for him. He walks back to the table and all three men there are stunned, mouths hanging open, not knowing what to say.))

Loverboy: Dude... you have a crazy good voice!

LH Harrison: I sang in choir for years. And that song is one of my favorites!

Loverboy: Wow. I put that in there as a joke because Alex hates Creed... but you killed it, dude! You definitely won! There's no way I can get as over with these people as you did just now.


Donny: Well, good for you ya don't have to try, Vinnie! Dave and Johnny just pulled up outside and texted me - we need to get you on the road to Atlanta.

((Donny shakes LH Harrison's hand and walks out the door of the bar, Alex following suit. As Loverboy turns to go, a huge guy in a wife beater and a cowboy hat gets in his face. Behind him, the cocktail waitress is cowering and mouthing "I'm sorry" at Loverboy.))

Redneck: You must be fuckin' stupid if you think I'm gonna let you walk out this here bar after you tried to finger band my old lady!

((The redneck spits a mouthful of chewing tobacco in Loverboy's face, blinding him, and then cold cocks him and sends him across the table, shattering beer bottles everywhere. The redneck grabs Loverboy by the t-shirt and looks to swing again, but LH Harrison grabs him by the arm and swings him around. Before the big man can react, Harrison sends a kick into his gut and then DDTs him right through the table. Loverboy is standing and watching the carnage with a grin while wiping the tobacco from his face.))

Loverboy: Dude! That was incredible! I had him right where I wanted him, though.

LH Harrison: I know you did, Vinnie.

Loverboy: About what you said earlier, man... "The Best of Both Worlds?" That's us, dude! That's our team name! That kicks so much ass!

LH Harrison: You know what? I like it. You have got to get going before someone calls the cops. I'm going to help this big guy get his wits about him and then get home to Jessica and the kids for a little more fun before I hit the road myself. I'll see you in Atlanta, Vinnie!

((Loverboy and Harrison exchange a sharp hi five and then a quick man-hug before Loverboy walks towards the exit and Harrison bends down to help the unconscious redneck. Right before the door, Loverboy swings around.))

Loverboy: Hey, sweetheart... you wanna go to Georgia and have the time of your life?

((The cocktail waitress turns red, looks at her boyfriend on the floor, then nods her head and runs toward Loverboy. The two of them suck face while Harrison just laughs and shakes his head, and then they run out of the bar together ready to hit the road.))