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AerialKnight · **01-04-2015, 12:26 AM**

"Alright, I could show you the time I traveled to Broadway to watch the Book of Mormon, but that would just be a waste of time and I don't want to spoil the damn thing. I have two videos to get through and I'm not in the mood to crack a few jokes before responding, so let's get started and see what happens next. Let's look at C.C.'s video first. Congrats on finally building up the courage to speak by the way, you've managed to pull off something that many new guys, such as yourself, can't seem to pull off."

C.C. Hollywood Said:"Blessed are the meek, right? I got what I asked for, but I just should have expected that it would be in ways that I wasn't exactly prepared for. Who would've thought that the whole 'atheist in a foxhole' mentality would hit home so early. Here's to a New Year's resolution: read, react, and adapt."

"Well out of all the tag team combinations that could've gone worse, we have an atheist teaming with a man, who just so happens to claim himself as the embodiment of Christianity. Things are getting off to a good start already, I can tell that they make a great pair. Be careful though, Hollywood, I heard that the Christian audience would be willing to burn you at the stake for not following our lord and savior, or in this case, some guy who drank too much and thinks he's Jesus incarnate."

C.C. Hollywood Said:"Aerial Knight talks about not believing hard enough in the power of Jesus Christ if my arm isn't raised. Aerial, this isn't about believing, but it is about knowing. Bury your treasure and burn your crops, Mr. Heartsford. The black water is rising and it ain't gonna' stop."

Beat. The knight, in his most monotone voice possible says this:

"My God, I can't believe you're the kind of man that takes a joke seriously."

He clears his throat and returns to his normal voice.

"I mean really man? I stepped over you because you didn't say shit by the time I made that video, and that's the best comeback you got? Shit, with burns like those, you'd have to turn the grill way the fuck up before you could cook anything in it. You talk quite big game for a man who changed his mind halfway through the recording. At first you were like: 'Gah, I hate Jesus, I don't want anything to do with this guy as my tag partner!' And then you were like: 'Oh shit, I love this guy! Me and him can totally work things out! We can go to a movie, pick up some hookers down the street, and possibly have a great time before the match!' Who's to say that things will go the newcomer's way besides yourself and the man with magical healing hands? Seriously, I don't see any scars on that guy, even though they fucked his ass up before nailing him to his own religious symbol. Jesus is a miracle man, yes, but I don't think all the miracles and senseless killings in the book can grant you the win in this match."

Quote:Yeah, this is like that bar, except Jesus ordered the drink, Hollywood is people watching, and staring across the bar are the Aerial Knight and TJ Wallace, eyeing up C.C. like he just went in on a threesome with women they know.

"Oh shit, the cameras caught that? Well I might as well explain why we were there in the first place. You see, TJ wanted to talk to me about some nightmare he had where this little bot I'm using to film myself right now cut off his dick. He seemed pretty shaken up over it too. I mean, can you blame him? Look at what was shown, it was pretty fucking bad. So I wanted to ease him up and get him something to drink in order to take the edge off of the memory. The only problem was that he wanted more than just one drink. So, begrudgingly, I bought him more and more until he was shitfaced. He told me the whole thing in detail, which made me not only hate women more than ever, but also made me want to drink to forget about the whole thing. Which, consequently, made me get shitfaced as well."

"When we saw you, we thought that you were the guys that came by us earlier to spill their drinks on us. Only Jesus looked similar to one of the guys that ruined our clothes, you looked like some douchebag that was looking to cause trouble. Well, you are, but that's the least of my concerns. We thought that we could give them death glares and scare them off. Don't ask how that works, drunk minds make up the stupidest of things. When we found out that they weren't leaving, we knew you weren't the same men that made us buy new clothes from the local thrift shop. I have no idea what happened to those guys anyways."

C.C. Hollywood Said:"Are we going to turn Jonathan Heartsford into a burning bush or TJ Wallace to a talking snake?"

"Cute."

C.C. Hollywood Said:"I ought to feel that I am put into my place when I first show my face on Monday Night Madness, but because of the simple disrespect that Heartsford has for any new challenge that's dares. I don't feel the least bit humble. It isn't me who needs to be humbled. It's the Aerial Knight. Trust me, Mr. Hartsford, my tardiness was not in a missing vote of confidence, but In my approach to put my most opportunistic foot forward with Jesus Christ at the wheel. Passing me over is never something that is smart to do, Jonathan. You caved when you spoke up, because I devised a scheme. Then, your counterpart spoke up. Hell, you may as well consider that TJ Wallace snitched. I've never been the praying type, however, so I don't need the blessing of my own tag team partner to know that my own fists are going to disrupt any plan that you have in mind. Everyone has a plan until they are punched in the mouth."

"Think of it as waiting for you to throw your two cents out before I throw mine. Mostly just to see what the new men are capable of doing in the art of insults and trash talking. I'm not the master of it, but I consider myself better than most people who think they're hot shit, such as yourself. And consider this as an apology for skipping you over in my previous video. Except not really, you brat. Oh, and every man has a scheme until they get knocked down."

"Alright, now that we got C.C. out of the way, we can move on to Jerry again."

Once again, he prepares his most monotone voice ever.

"Hallelujah."

Jerry Carl Said:"Allow me to break this down into something you can understand, I know it is tough to really grasp the concept of knowledge but I will try and teach you a few things with hopes that you retain the information."

"Oh come on, man, I'm not as idiotic as you make me out to be. I know how to cook for myself and others, clean up after myself and others, and get through the day, just like everyone else. So much for being the kindest man in existence, jackass."

Jerry Carl Said:"'Twenty seconds, huh?'"

"Wait, what the hell?"

Jerry Carl Said:"'Not bad, but certainly not good either.'"

"Son of a virgin, he's copying everything I say! What's up with you, man? Do my words just sound better when they come out of your mouth? Hell, if you're going to copy everything that comes out of my mouth, you might as well impersonate the voice in my head as well. That thing doesn't know when to shut up either."

Jerry Carl Said:"I am not sure what took twenty seconds but I am sure it wasn’t me claiming anything to be twenty seconds, secondly it doesn’t matter if people want my help, it’s a matter of giving it either way. If a toddler has a bathroom accident but doesn’t want to change their cloths, is it prudent to just let them be? Sometimes force is the only way to make change for the better. Another example is elderly people, they need to be forced to receive help at times for their own good. I don’t believe that people’s lives should ever “suck” as you put it. I think people should be always happy and always forgiving."

"I never said you claimed anything, I just said that I wanted to see how long it will take me to turn off the TV once you spoke. For someone preaching to be a highly intelligent life form, you certainly don't show it. And yes, I'm sure it's divine intervention when when Little Timmy had his mother come in to bring him a fresh pair of clothes after he soiled them. You just flat out explained to me that, yes, we can handle our own problems, and the need of a deity is pointless when we're there trying to fix it ourselves. Granted, sometimes we make it worse, but at least we're trying, damn it!"

Jerry Carl Said:"I may have died but it was not 2000 years ago. That is a common mistake. If we go by those facts then we can conclude that I in fact died 1985 years ago, not to be mistaken for 32 years ago. I was born over 2000 years ago. This is an issue with most people who lack the natural intelligence to perceive what time is."

"I know math might have been around when you were on this Earth, but listen up, because this may come as a shocker. What I did was approximate exactly when I think you died. I guessed some time around two thousand years ago, and wouldn't you know it, I came pretty close to the actual number. I don't believe everyone will have the exact amount of years Jesus died from now, so we have to rely on our brain to come up with an accurate guess."

Jerry Carl Said:"It is interesting how you claim rest when it is obviously they are gone 100%."

"Much like your own dad."

Jerry Carl Said:"Mystica came back to the XWF and literally crawled through his match and lost, real gods don’t lose."

"By that logic, demons can't lose either. You're a human, right? I'd hope so, otherwise you'd have to explain to Mary what dad did to her to make such a creature. Anyways, as I was saying, if brave enough and cunning enough, a human can defeat a God, whether by dumb luck or true skill. People have beaten Mystica, Evertrust, and Azrael, the man who solely disproves your religion and everything about it."

Jerry Carl Said:"Archived footage? What have they done? Oh, to my understanding they did things on television, in front of cameras that are known for lies. Are you trying to tell me that everything you see on TV is truthful? Are you really going to believe that Transformers is real?"

For a moment, Johnathan just stares dumbfounded at the television monitor. The silence lasts for a full minute before he continues.

"...How do you even...never mind, you're Jesus, so you must have been brought down some technology years back before it was really a thing. The point is, if you can actually look up some of their archived shows and removed any bullshit about how all of this is choreographed and pre-planned to go exactly how the producers want it, you'll be able to find out that what you're seeing isn't CGI. In fact, it's all happening before you, right in front of your very eyes, and you say that none of it is real."

He scoffs out of disbelief.

"I don't think you understand how shocking this really is! Jesus Christ, the man who ascended to heaven and came back down to visit all of his supporters on his spiritual voyage, says that a chair tornado and an elephant crushing a man with it's own fecal matter is unreal. Fucking wow, man, I think we just reached a breakthrough! Oh, and as for your whole 'not everything on TV is truthful' bit, yeah, you're right, not a lot on television can be trusted. Like you saying that you're the very same son of God who died for our sins. Jesus just can't decide to become a wrestler unless he was really into the sport, like Azrael. I find a man who wants to purify the most unclean souls in mankind kind of doubtful."

Jerry Carl Said:"He is unable to use such powers it is a trick from TV and the fact that you are bringing this up on MONDAY MADNESS and trying to pass it off as fact proves that you have the mindset of a child who still believes in the tooth fairy."

"Everyone else in this federation, even the ones that have packed their bags and never looked back, know that they are required to limit their powers on Madness in order to build it up as a traditional show. I'm pretty damn sure I can get away with showing some archived footage of the most surreal happenings on other shows."

Jerry Carl Said:"This is real life where gas costs, rent costs and people actually die."

"And the place where people start wars under you and your father's name, what's your point?"

Jerry Carl Said:"I just have to wonder who id feeding you these fictitious fallacies because I doubt you would have done the leg work to find things that are before you. What you just did here today was cement the fact that you have the mind of a child and hoping for something more."

"Well that's no way to treat one of your dad's creations. I don't think you can expect to go back to the Holy land and expect a pat on the back for saying such blasphemy. Were you hugged enough as a child or whipped too hard as a adult? Because you have quite a few sins of your own, as shown by the book itself. Yes, kings did change the bible for their own gain, but unless you plan on releasing an updated version where you and your dad aren't egocentric, vengeful creatures, it's the one I'm sticking with."

"As your attitude shows, I don't think I want to believe in a man that's willing to push himself as a man better than all of humankind. Especially if that man wants me to call myself a dog and label myself much lower than his supporters. However, I do believe in this: INRI. Hope you like seeing that word again."

Johnathan winks at the Cambot.

BEEP BEEP. LOW BATTERY.

"You gotta be fu-"

The scene cuts to black.

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