“But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!”

95 degrees in the day, and -10 at night.

West Virginia.

After a much anticipated fight with XWF legend Chris Chaos, Cadryn has returned home for a few days to gather himself and reassess his situation. In good spirits, and accompanied by his beautiful wife Natalie, Cadryn visits various places around his home town, taking in the beautiful spring weather, preparing for the harsh winter a mere 3 hours later. Cadryn ends his little revival tour at Prickett’s Fort State Park. As Cadryn and Natalie sit side by side on the small swingset adjacent to the fort, Cadryn removes his phone from his shirt pocket and begins scouring the XWF website. Cadryn smiles as he finds that finally, one of his opponents had cut a promo. Cadryn looks to Natalie with a look that says “It’s time to go to work” and presses record on his phone, beginning yet another anticipated, award winning, promo.

That’s right, boys and girls, I lost.

But, such is life. And I’m not even upset about it, let me tell you why:

I took Chris Chaos to his limits. I put that man through hell, and I practically whipped his ass up one side of that dome and down the other. I had the match won, everything was going as I had planned. And then it wasn’t…

Out of the middle of the ring, like some sort of sacrilegious, self righteous, stupid ass, Houdini, comes Michael “I’m not sure what personality I want to be this week” Graves. And of course, he has some sort of butthole bond with Chris Chaos, so guess what happened next? That’s right, Michael “I look like somebody beat the brakes off my ass” Graves cost me the match. All so he could return to the locker room and play grab ass with Chaos in the hopes that it would look more like celebratory ass slapping and less like the rape scene he more than likely has planned for Dolly Waters. I mean, have you seen the look he gets in his old ass eyes when he gets near her? I know he said it was all in relation to her belt, but I'm not so convinced..

Ew..

But..

Shit happens, right?

Right. But, I’m resilient, and with that said, I will retaliate when the time is right. But for now, I have a few different things to focus on. First and foremost, my “tag” match with Shade against Mezian and Danny Sex.

I’m actually not sure why upper management hates me so much. Everytime I get put in a tag match, I’m forced to put the team on my back and carry the weight of my less than talented, less than interested in winning, partners. You’d think after an athlete of my caliber takes one of the greatest guys to ever grace the ring to his limits, I’d get some type of reward. My reward? Being forced to work just as hard this week, alone, again, in a tag match against a couple of dudes who ain’t talented enough carry my Stetson case.

That’s fine though. I could use an easy win after all the ass whippins’ I’ve taken recently, and all the hard work I’ve had to put in…

Just to get my ass whipped…

Shit..

Oh well, when the going gets tough…

Typically I retreat to my ranch..

But!

Not this time, assholes. Those days are long gone. It don’t matter if it’s Ax3, you jackwagons, or Jesus Christ in the form of a drunken, masturbating in my barn, Darren Zirado. I refuse to lose another match.

For at least 2 weeks…

I think that seems fair. I don’t lose for two weeks and maybe I won’t get shit on every time I turn around here in the XWF.

Ain’t like any of y’all got the balls to say anything to me anyways. Hell, Mezian is the only little dick’d sum bitch to even step up to the plate and try and hit a homerun.

I mean, he struck out of course, but at least he gave er’ the ole’ college try.

You clowns ain’t even trying to say anything to the Essence of Excellence. Which, honestly, I can’t blame you. Well all know I’m linguistic lyricist, and y’all can’t stop it.

But, for now, I’ll entertain this crap. It’s more fun to combat your babble, than to go out and try and pry Darren off the sauce, and get him outta’ the barn.

Mezian.

Who you trying to warn? Ain’t nobody round’ here scared of you, boy. You can talk all that demonic gospel bullshit you want, ain’t gonna change the outcome of what is about to happen to ya’ ass on Saturday. Now, you did have a few decent things to say about me, and as the “Epitome of man” and the “Essence of excellence” I feel it necessary to touch on those. You said you have a ton of respect for me and what I do in this company, and I appreciate that. I’ve come a long way in a short amount of time, and I have improved this company tenfold, that’s for damn sure. But, here’s the problem. You followed that genuine sentiment up with an idle threat. That’s not how a man conducts himself. If you mean well, you mean well. If you’re trying to be cross, you be cross. But ya’ don’t confuse the two, dude. As for my partner? Son, I ain’t got no partner. I’ve got some comic book character looking dude, who won’t show up till the last minute, and probably sit there at ringside painting his nails while reaping the benefits of my whippin’ everyone's asses. Hell, I might even whip his ass on principle after I’m done with y’all. So you ain’t gotta’ worry about me protecting my little princess over there, you can have her.

Danny Sex.

I ain’t got a damn clue who you are, son. But with a name like that, you probably take it in the butt for quarters. You came to the XWF and immediately started talking about your penis. Well, I can’t say a lot, I did the same thing. But my mysteriously, misshapen, man meat, is goddamn immaculate. Ask the Mrs. She’ll tell you all about what it’s like to get laid down by a real man. Hell, if you want, Danny, I’ll give ya lessons, boy. It’s ironic to me that when I drop the “Cereal Killer” gimmick and go back to my roots, another guy comes along acting ambiguously gay, as I used to. But, for me it was just an act, for you, I’m not so sure. And I know, gay jokes are so lame and overused, yada, yada. But, man, you ain’t even given me enough respect to show up to have your ass whipped verbally yet. So you can’t fault me for going on what information I can gather, currently. If I’m wrong, I look forward to your terrible attempts at trying to correct me.

The Essence Of Excellence will show you how fitting a name it has become for yours truly.

So with that being said, gentleman, I look forward to seeing y’all on Savage.

It’ll be a damn good time.

For me..

Not for you..

Cadryn stops the recording on his phone and looks over at his beautiful wife who is looking at him like he’s the only man in the world. The two embrace each other as they utter a few words and begin to make their way back to the car..