“CLEAR!”

THUD!

My body stiff from rigor mortis is temporarily animated as the defibrillator hits my chest. As it charges a second time, I see my life flash before my eyes for possibly the 22nd time. My legendary sexual exploits, my vast collection of stolen artifacts, my mansion… My… My millions upon millions of dollars…

“CLEAR!”

THUD!

… Lost… In an instant all my hard work vanished… I put so much time and money into XWF, REAL MONEY! And one person took it away in a heartbeat!

“CLEAR!”

THUD!

I sit up with a sharp inhale, I look around at the doctors and nurses breathe a sigh of relief as they put away their equipment. One of them removes their facemask and stamps a small card before handing it to me.

“Welcome back, again, Mr. Powers. Here’s your premium life insurance card.”

I wearily take it and look at the 6 stamps cracking a smile.

“Radical, I get a free mocha!”

“That’s the good news, Mr. Powers… Sadly we’re going to have to end your insurance.”

“WHAT!? WHY!?”

“You can’t afford it anymore. Sorry, Dick.”

“I-I…” I collapse to my knees. “I can’t… afford it?”

The words come out of me like a foreign object. A sentence I’ve never uttered in my life exiting out of me like someone ripcording anal beads.

“No… There has to be some mistake! I’m Dick Powers!!! I’m a legit billionaire!”

The doctor removes his gloves as he sighs.

“Not anymore I’m afraid. Looks like you’ll just try and have a normal life like the rest of us… Well, I say the rest of us; I’m rich and my job has been bringing you back to life for the past 7 years… Oh shit, I need to find a new job now…”

“See!” I stand to my feet and point a finger to the doc. “This is all Thad Duke’s fault! He stole my money and put you out of a job! We should shoot him with a gun! He’s WAY worse than a healthcare CEO!”

The doctor blinks slowly and thinks for a moment.

“Nah, I’m good. You do you though.”

I’m left utterly distraught as I exit the building with my free mocha. My mind flashes back to Roger moments before I had the heart attack that left me here. How I would need to become just another schmuck within the recesses of Anarchy to make a living… How Roger blank deer-like eyes looked at me, his $5 haircut. His plaid button-up shirt… The-the-

I cover my mouth as tears stream down my face.

The corduroy jeans!

OH GAWD! What will I become!? A devilishly handsome, well-endowed version of Roger!? Slumming it with the likes of Jake Borden and Summer Page!? Trying my hand at those tacky championship belts in some ridiculous named event!?

NO!

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

I hurl my mocha with a roar at a cyclist and scream to the heavens!

“DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKEEEE!!!!!!”

Anger fuels me now, I will destroy that beta-cuck even if it kills me. I’ll take everything from him like he took it from me!

Even if I have to climb through Anarchy to do it.

---

---

Back at my home. My staff have left me.

Commoners in overalls have repossessed my wealth.

And I stand in a full-length mirror.

My good looks have faded due to not being able to afford my skincare routine. My beautiful hair… Falling away. My age finally showing as I stare at myself in… A plaid shirt and dad jeans.

This is the monster Thaddeus Duke has created.

And he has directed this monster on a warpath.

“Bobby Bourbon.”

“You prattle on about how you’re in some Revolution! HA! COMMUNIST! You and your cronies are the reason my wealth was stolen! You fat bitch, you washed-up degenerate! The fact that you’re so attention starved that you need to join these constant little groups and try and take back your career is depressing!”

“You were nothing with that mask on constantly getting highs and falling flat on your face!”

“You remind people of your Bastard reign with TK but no one gives a shit anymore!”

“Now you’re with some other cunts trying to make a difference who stay quiet while you embarrass them constantly by opening your stupid mouth! Have you ever took a moment to shut the fuck up and think? You dumb fat fuck!?”

“NO! OH NO! You parade with your gaggle of clowns and spout nonsense, saying you’re the king of smack talk this and you did something back when! AND NOBODY FUCKING CARES!!!”

“YOU’RE A FUCKING JOKE, ROBERT!”

“And because you’re so fucking stupid you kickstart some ridiculous revolution against what exactly!? You’re part of the problem! YOU’RE THE REASON I’M POOR!”

“YOU’RE THE REASON I’M WEARING FUCKING PLAID!!!!”

“You, Flynn and Schism! All fucking hypocrits! Flynn was all about Record Profits™ and being at the top of the company making money and making it better. Schism is a nobody! Just some fucking ghoul wandering around and YOU Bobby!?”

“You played a maniac scientist for how long? You wanted to bring back FUN! You wanted to make edgy jokes with TK. You wanted to be King of the XWF! You wanted it ALLLL!!!”

“And where did it all land you!?”

“At the bottom of the card with me.”

“You can’t do anything right you belligerent fucking child. Flynn needs to wipe the snot from your face and point you in the right direction and just PRAY you don’t make an ass of yourself and ruin this revolution before it’s even started.”

“I will beat you to a bloody pulp if it's the last thing I do, Bobby! I am a man with nothing to lose! I will KILL this revolution before it has started!”

“I will break EVERYONE who stands in my way and I will overthrow and destroy THADDEUS DUKE and take back what is mine!”