Beneath the sky of a distant land, where once a tower that loomed over like a specter stood and metal jutted out everywhere, wreckage was what remained. Through the remains of the toppled tower of the Baron, there stood one man within the middle of the wreckage, sifting through alongside his hunting hound.

“It must be here,” the seeker muttered to himself as he kicked over a new pile of rocks. “It must…”

“Arf! Arf!” As Field Marshall Bark Flynn yelped in excitement, Major Bob Whisky turned towards him with a spark of hope entering his saggy chest. Instead of finding the crown he was searching for, however, Bark Flynn had his attention directed towards the horizon where one man was riding in on his horse after a long journey.

Admiral Lightning Fist.

It didn’t take long for the Admiral to make it to the wreckage. He dismounted from his horse, brows furrowed as he sauntered to Bob.

“I heard about ze counter-revolution,” Fist frowned. “But to zee it in ze flesh…”

Bob looked up from his search, his eyes despondent. “I cannot give zis up, comrade. I gave my life, my everything for ze Baron’s revolution. To zee it gone hurts my zoul.”

Fist reached forward, placing a consoling hand on Bob’s shoulder. “Vhere is General Chasm?”

“Gone. He left almost immediately after. I have not seen anything of him since.”

“Ah… vell, life goes on, my comrade. If ve vant to relive the glory days, ve still have each other.”

Bob Whisky considered his comrade’s words, eyes closed as he did so. “I have never been able to get ze figure of the counter-revolutionaries out of my mind since zat day. An elderly man, a young pixelated girl…”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Arf!” Bark Flynn’s voice cut through the air as he rummaged beneath a new pile of rubble, crawling out with a stained, tattered crown in its jaw that was almost bigger than his entire body. He trotted towards Fist and Bob, placing the crown on the ground before them as his tiny chihuahua tail wagged exuberantly.

Bob Whisky considered his choices, before taking the crown of the Baron into his hands and gazed back at his comrade. A smile crept onto his face.

“I believe it iz time for payback, my comrade.”

---

The setting sun pokes through the canopy of the lush forest, twilight beginning to settle along the sky. A pair of boots stomp against the ground in unison, finding a nearby clearing in front of them.

“Figure that’s as good a spot as any to camp for the night,” Scoops McGee nods as he points down from the short cliff the pair are standing on towards a small clearing. Noah the cameraman was just behind them, aiming his camera towards Scoops’ back. “How ya holdin’ up, Missy?”

“Pretty great! This hunting stuff is easy!” In Game Girl’s arms sat a thick bundle of wood that was perfect to start a fire.

Scoops scoffs, “We barely even started hunting yet. Gotta get camp set up first before we move out tomorrow.”

As the two hopped their way down, the melodies of birds rang through the air, an attempt to set both of their hearts at ease. Eventually, they skipped their way past enough stones to make it to the bottom, with Scoops turning towards Game Girl beside him.

“Get that firewood set up for me, Missy?”

GG plops the pile of wood at her feet and slightly nudges a log to the right. “Done!”

It didn’t take long, but as Scoops pulled out a batch of tinder and kindling sticks, the two managed to start the fire with Scoops using his lighter. With the amber glow illuminating the clearing, the two sat across from each other. Their shadows loomed behind them, as massive as the weights on their shoulders.

Game Girl grabs a stick and pokes at the fire. “Wish we brought some marshmallows.”

“We cook what we kill,” Scoops dismisses. “Don’t know about where you’re from but ain’t no marshmallows walking around here.”

GG frowns. “Do we have to kill an animal? Seems pretty barbaric.”

“Yeah,” Noah remarks, rubbing the back of his neck. “There was a 7/11 about a mile back, we could just pick up some snacks.”

Scoops rolls his eyes in a huff. “Sure, we’ll get ourselves a slushie and a marathon!”

There’s a beat.

“Where are we running to?” GG questions.

Noah snorts a laugh, “A marathon was an old chocolate bar.”

“Was!?” Scoops looks up at Noah. “They ain’t around anymore?” Noah shakes his head. Scoops sighs with a shake of his head. “Damn shame, this country ain’t what it used to be.”

“I think they brought them back at some point, but with a new recipe.” Noah ponders.

“Ah,” Scoops throws his hand, “They’re never any good when they bring them back for a return. Like 3:10 to Yuma! Original was great, so why remake it?”

“Mhm,” Noah fakes an agreement, “Or Aladdin!”

GG looks between the two, eager to join in. “Or like The Legend of Zelda 2!” She gives a smile to a confused Scoops who squints at her.

“Yeah, like… That. Point is, things are never good the second time around. Remakes, rebranding or even sequels.”

“Vell, vell, vell…” Heavy footfalls sound through the dim light as the group look up to a large, towering man slowly marching through the forest. As he comes into the light of the fire, the flames illuminate the man’s scraggly beard and wild hair as he stares down them with dotted pupils. A cruel smile cracks his lips. “It zeems I have found two trophies vhile hunting!”

Scoops steps up to his feet with a groan putting a hand in front of GG to not attack. Game Girl looks at the man with a smile and waves at him. “Hey Bob :)”

Scoops exhales deeply and shoots a quick look at GG before looking back at Robert Whisky. “The hell you doin’ here? If you’re looking for revenge for when me and the girl squashed your little revolution I’ve got two reminders here for ya.”

Scoops rasps his hands into fists. Whisky chuckles looking at Scoops. “You may have killed Ze Baron’s frail ego and faulty goals but… I have a much more direct vay of doing things. I also have greater allies than before.”

A jingle comes closer as tiny steps crush very small twigs racing toward the camp and Field Marshall Bark Flynn stands beside Bob Whisky with a ‘horrifying’ growl. GG gives an “Ooh!” as she eyes the ‘menacing hellhound.’ Scoops, however, bursts into laughter.

“That thing!” He belly laughs, slapping his knee as he body folds. “I take shits bigger than that mongrel! That’s yer great ally?”

Scoops continues laughing as Bob interrupts him. “No. He is.”

Through a thick accent, a low deep voice startles the group from behind. “Howdy, pilgrims.”

And two large fists slice downward in an axe handle. Game Girl pushes Scoops aside as the fists crush the fallen tree they sat upon. GG and Scoops look up from the ground as the man cracks his neck, Noah backs away slowly but Bark Flynn circles him with ‘blood-curdling’ barks.

“Meet Admiral Lightning Fist!” Bob cries out. “Meet! THEM NO GOOD REVOLUTIONARIES!”

“Lame!” GG shouts back. “That’s a lame name! You two are lame!”

“Silence, voman!” Whisky snaps. “Us three together shall destroy you vith ease! And finally, ze universe shall know our glorious revolution!”

“Ya gotta be shitting me!” Scoops mutters to himself before turning around on one knee and addressing Whisky. “Your brand new scheme is the same ol’ bullshit that failed last time but now this time you got a new guy with a stupid name to help ya out!”

“Ve actually vere part of a revolution before Ze Baron’s one.” Lighting Fists corrects.

“Oh!” Scoops sarcastically slaps his forehead. “How stupid of me! Surely this dumbass plan will work now that you got a guy who missed the other seven revolutions you tried to start!”

“Seven?” Fists looked at Whisky, sad and confused.

Whisky waves a hand. “He iz gaslighting you, over-exaggeration. A trick of a true capitalist pig-dog.” He looks back at Scoops. “Admiral Lightning Fist is truly my greatest ally, not only does his strength match mine but he is also a poet when it comes to insulting and demoralising the opposition. Show him, comrade!”

Fists clears his throat, with the footage proceeding to fast-forward. As it does so, the screen shows the subtitles of, “[A lazy way of calling someone a slur and a terrible attempt of rapping]”

“HA! Good one!” Whisky remarks. The footage begins to do the same as before. “My turn! [a long-winded analogy that has literally nothing to do with the current scenario that ends up with Bob just being horny or hungry OR BOTH!]”

“Nice,” Fists replied with a point. “Zat’s awesome, comrade.”

Scoops shoots a look at Game Girl from across the way with an eyebrow and GG shrugs before speaking up. “Hey, not to be rude but I think you guys actually suck at ‘demoralising’ your foes and just hype each other up a whole bunch.”

Bob scoffs. “No! Zat is ridiculous! Ve’re good at this, aren’t ve, Bark?” He shrugs looking at Bark Flynn who awkwardly avoids eye contact. “... Field Marshall?”

Scoops doesn’t let Bob right himself, charging forward with a HUGE shoulder charge that sends him right back into the tree! Bob’s skull meets the unforgiving bark as his eyes cross in pain!

Fists tries to come to his partner’s aid, but GG cuts him off! She brings out her warhammer, and immediately slams it into his gut before whirling around with the hammer to keep hitting him around until she slams him into another tree!

“Yeah!” Noah cheers on as he continues to aim the camera. “Get them! Show them who’s boss!”

Scoops looks back over his shoulder before Bob could get his senses back, eyes widening as he did so. “Get the fuck out the way, boah!”

Scoops pulls Noah to the side by the wrist as Bark Flynn leaps through the air! But that leads to Bark landing right on Bob’s face as his claws sink into his owner’s face with Bob screaming in agony! He falls to the ground, slowly prying Bark off of him as he gasps for air, only for Scoops to boot him right in the gut with a piece of flaming firewood in his hand.

“The two of you need to fuck off outta here, you hear me? I don’t give a damn what partner you wanna pull up with, Missy and I are still gonna beat yer pathetic asses every single damn time. Yer a goddamn waste of space stuck in the past, and I don’t wanna deal with yer bumass. Now scram!”

Bob and Fists both sputter at what they’ve found themselves at, before they slowly scramble back to their feet and run off into the wilderness, with Bark Flynn chasing after them, yelping all the way.

“Think they’ve learned their lesson?” GG asks.

“Hell if I know,” Scoops scoffs. “But we beat them sumbitches once, we ain’t losing to whatever fuckin ‘revolutionary’ team that wants to rise up. You and me, Missy, it’s us against the world.”

“And me too?” Noah asked from behind the camera.

Scoops glanced at him, raising an eyebrow as he did so.

“Of course! :)” GG replies. As Noah lets out a breath of relief, she continues. “I still don’t like this whole hunting nonsense, but… it’s always fun spending time camping and going against whatever the world tries to throw at us. And I know we’re not gonna stop any time soon.”

“Got that right,” Scoops nodded as he lobs the firewood back to the pile. “Now let’s get some rest before we actually hunt tomorrow.”

The scene fades to black.