Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Caliban · (08-06-2013)

Our masked hero from south of the border takes a big bite out of a beef and bean burrito. We pan out to discover that we are inside of a Taco Bell with Juan Madison. Juan is chomping down on his burrito while the other patrons in the dining room watch him in amazement; they are starstruck but the luchador sensation.

Juan Madison: "Me gusta Taco Bell, odelay!"

Juan Madison is very outspoken despite his coarse appearance. The man is still without proper footwear and his lucha mask is crooked and dirty. Nevertheless, the kiddos are still enamored by the hero from across the border. A young boy is so anxious that he neglects his own family to meet Juan Madison.

Young Boy: "Sir, can I have your autograph?"

Juan Madison: "Si!"

The young boy hands Juan Madison his the paper sleeve that once housed a soft taco. Juan Madison acts like he's about to sign the Taco Bell wrapper, but instead slides it under his ass and rips loose a loud fart that sounds like Griffin MacAlister's shitty motor cycle taking off.

Young Boy: "Ewww!"

Laughing, Juan Madison fans his fart particles in the direction of the little boy so the he cannot escape it. The little boy's father catches wind, literally, of what took place and stands up. The boy's father is an uptight looking middle aged prick with glasses and a bald spot. The screeching sound of the man's chair is heard throughout the dining area as he shoots up to his feet.

Father: "SIR! Did you just fart on my son? That was very rude and disrespectful. You should be ashamed of yourself! These kids idolize you; you're setting a bad example."

Juan Madison: "You're right, chico. C'mere and let me make it up to you."

The boy's father walks up to Juan Madison who is offering to shake his hand.

The father walks up to Juan and accepts the gesture.

Little does he know...

it's a trick!

Juan Madison grabs the paper that he farted on, pulls the man forward and proceeds to shove the paper down the man's throat! By gawd, he's gonna choke the poor old bastard.

The old man gags as the stench from Juan's butthole fills his mouth. The smell of Juan's taco and tequilla fart is so foul and toxic that it causes the man to pass out. The restaurant's occupants gasp as they witness the altercation happen before their eyes. Unfortunately for them, their gasping causes them to inhale the fart that's making it's rounds, and they begin gagging as well!

Juan Madison departs the contaminated building as everyone starts to choke. Juan is sure to snatch up other people's food on the way out. One man who's flopping around on the ground like a fish on land tries to stop Juan, but Juan walks over him.

Odelay, homes!

Me llamo es Juan Madison!

If this is your first time, then it's a pleasure to meet you. As I said, I am Juan, and I am new to the XWF. It has always been my dream to wrestle in America and I escaped here from Mexico two weeks ago!

So I got this match coming up called the Rumble in Brooklyn. It's kind of a big deal because the amigo who walks outta there with his hand raise is the new number one contender towards the XWF crown.

Numero uno.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm very excited. You know who else is excited? This amigo named Shocker. Yo Shockmasta, take it away, homes!

Quote:Shocker and Lightning reference Juan Madison's recent comments...

Shocker
I made my intentions known to a certain Madison that I wanted to dethrone him of his little title of King. What he fails to realize is he is misinformed, as is normal for him.

Lightning
You know, he does have a point after all.

For whatever reason, this chico seems to think that I am already the king. It's pretty silly of him to accuse me, Juan Madison, of being misinformed when he isn't even aware that the King of the XWF is JOHN MADISON.

Come on, chico. I know I'm good and all, but why are you talking about dethroning and taking away my "title" when I haven't even won it yet? Even his buddy Lightning is confused. D-aaaaamn, amigos, you done fucked up and it's only your second promo. And you boys still have four more to go? Pshhh, it's gonna be a long week, chicos.

This puta, Shocker, then wants to go and talk about his history in the federation in order to disprove the point I made about him in my first promo.

Yeah, SHOCKER, actually did this. The Shocker that you all know is bragging about the "names" that he's put down.

la historia...

Shocker starts talkin' about he got these wins over all these irrelevant people. Amigo, do you honestly think that history is worth bringing to the table at this point in the game? You know that this match is to determine who faces the king, right? How many of them chicos that you rattled off still work in the federation, homes? Why don't you go back and do some more research and find out what in da' fuck Ann Thraxx accomplished while she was here.

Nothing.

Nada...

So let me get this straight, if I beat Mr. Radio and he happens to disappear the following week, does that give me bragging rights? Don't make me laugh, amigo.

And then you wanna hit me with some philosophy that says "just because you won the match doesn't mean you won the match..."

Are you drugs, amigo? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, man. Are you trying to win the Peter Gilmour Award for saying stupid shit? Let me tell you why that belief of yours is bullshit. No one gives a shit if you go out and lose the Olympics. What they care about is the homeboy who goes up on that podium with the gold medal around his neck. The same can be said about wrestling championships. You put on a good show? That's nice, but who stood tall at the end of the show with the gold in their possession?

Do people come and go as the competition picks up?

Si, si... doesn't earn you anything though if you happen to have beaten them before.

Shocker, you happen to be a part of a very wide selection of talent that sucks for months at a time and walks away when they realize that they can't hack it.

If Juan Madison racks up wins over Cassius Stone, Martin O'Connor, and Benjamin Crane, does that make him a serious threat? No way, amigo. It just means I put down a bunch of flakers.

Speaking of people who are in the business of flaking, it would appear as though Peter Gilmour had some words to say about I, Juan Madison. He also talked some shit about that other guy, John Madison.

First off, again, Peter Gilmour seems to have me confused with our king John Madison. I'm not sure why. Other than the last names, we have nothing in common. Well, let me correct that-- I will soon be a king just like John.

Peter Gilmour seems to have already gotten himself into the habit of calling me king though. This fat pendejo actually thinks that I'm John Madison. He even has a conspiracy theory to go with it.

Quote:Peter Gilmour: You can come out here with some stupid Mexican gimmick thinking you're some puto named Juan all you want

Again, I appreciate the compliments, but I can assure you that I am most definitely NOT John Madison. I mean, come on Peter. I suppose you think that JFK was an inside job too, huh amigo?

Think about it, Peter...

Why would I, Juan Madison, wear this mask if I was John Madison? If I was John Madison then Paul Heyman would have ejected me from the match outright. I certainly would not be wearing a mask or going to Taco Bell neither. Furthermore, if I was John Madison, then why would I run bare foot across Tijuana with federales on my tail? On top of all that, I'm pretty sure John Madison is in no shape to compete after what you did to him on Warfare.

I hate to break it to you amigo, but you've got the wrong guy. You, like many others in this match, are focused on the wrong Madison and that shit is gonna cost you, amigo.

Quote:Peter Gilmour: Oh by the way, a guy named John Cena called and he wants his gimmick back bitch!

Ah nice! First I'm being compared to the great John Madison, and now I'm being told that I'm stealing John Cena's gimmick!

Peter Gilmour sure does compare me to a lot of great athletes. Too bad I cannot return the favor to him because I doubt that even the lowest of indy wrestlers would want to be compared to Peter Gilmour. Anyway, Pendejo Gilmour seems to be convinced more than anyone else that I am John Madison, and also believes that I'm ripping off John Cena's gimmick since, according to Peter, I am John Madison.

Well, first let's examine this John Cena accusation real quick. I'm not sure what part of John Cena's gimmick I'm being accused of ripping off since I don't wave my hand in front of my face or freestyle in my promos. I do believe in hustle, loyalty, in respect, but it's not something that I throw on a t-shirt. So Peter, I'm not seeing the connection here. Care to explain?

Perhaps it's the fact that my drive and passion is up there with John Cena.

Let's see, last time I checked, John Cena is an eleven time WWE Champion. John Cena is also the man to beat over in WWE if you want to make a name for yourself. I suppose that I do see where Peter is going with this. In a lot of ways, myself and John Madison have the same drive that John Cena has, and we always overcome the odds no matter how great they are. John Madison and John Cena even share the same first names!

Remember when John Cena overcame the entire Nexus group on his own? Our king, John Madison, topped that. He overcame THE ENTIRE XWF all on his own at Gauntlet City. Looks like John Cena has some catching up to do, right Pete?

But Peter, I digress. I'm not here to talk about how great John Madison is-- you do enough of that on your own.

I'm here to talk about the RUMBLE IN BROOKLYN!

Are you ready for it, Peter?

I don't think you are. This is your chance to face the king; the man you hate so much-- John Madison, and THAT was the promo which is supposed to make us believe that you have what it takes?

I'm not impressed, amigo. All I see is a bunch of yelling and bitching, man. All I see is you falling into the same lazy habits and repeating the same bullshit as last week. You know-- last week-- when you came into the gauntlet at numero ten and fucked that up somehow?

Who was the guy you had to beat?

Tony Santos?

Come on, amigo. Are you serious?

Tony Santos, who had just gone through two grueling matches with Sebastian Duke and Death Merchant, and you couldn't beat him. That shit was practically gift wrapped for you, amigo, and you failed to seize it. You flaked big time, homes, and you're gonna do it again on Monday night.

What a wasted opportunity. Just think about what might have happened if Death Merchant or Alexandra Callaway had the number ten spot.

Well, on behalf of those people who had to watch you waste the opportunity of a lifetime because you're too fat, lazy, and weak: Fuck you, pussy.

Forget it, Peter. Why are you even in this match? You know that you can't win, so why don't you go back to figuring out what dates Unknown Soldier and Mister Mystery are available to drag your fat body to a victory? Just remove the promo tape that you sent in, and your name from the battle royal, because you're wasting your time.

Your wasting your time because no matter how many time you say...

"FUCK YOU JOHN MADISON YOU FUCKING PUSSY QUICK DUCKING ME!!! I DIGRESS, GO SUCK LUCAS COCK YOU JOHN CENA RIP OFF!!!"

It won't bring you any closer to earning a match with our king. King John doesn't need to duck you, Pete. He just needs to sit back and watch you do what you do best-- not win. That there is enough to guarantee John Madison that he'll never have to face you, EVER. It's the same reason why John Madison will never face Benjamin Crane or Swift Ion.

No way, amigo. John Madison only settles for the best.

Sincerely,
"The Best," Juan Madison

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode hola dos, peter is fat
Author	Message