You heard our Chesney right, The Rock is the one and f-in only, everything about is the one and only. His schlong for starters is the one and only mother flipping schlong this god damn size.....On a human anyway. His ability to save dying film franchises is another, there ain't nobody except maybe Tara Reid who can save a movie like The Rock does... Seriously have you seen Sharknado or whatever it’s called? What else oh yes the eyebrow, The Rock's the one and only person who is able to raise his eyebrow with the grace and ease that The Rock does... Honestly if I do it know it will give you all an electric shock. There are so many things that make The Rock the one and only. The ability to make Paul Walker cry just by showing him Tyrese Gibson's monster schlong, heck it's not even as big as The Rock's but when The Rock points at that piece of meet and Walker inadvertently looks he just breaks down into tears every fucking time. Fuck Girl... You know the next thing that is going to make The Rock the one and only?
Winning the XWF X-treme title on Saturday Night Shove It, The Night of Payne. Yes that’s right The Rock is going to walk his 100lbs schlong down to that ring, slap it about the faces of his opponents Sally Santos and Samantha Tyler and then get the obviously extraordinarily hard victory and leave with the X-Treme Championship strapped tightly around his schlong.
Now don't get The Rock wrong, I know what you are thinking. "That's not very respectful of the prestigious X-Treme Title belt, strapping it around a monster genitalia. Well there is no need to worry. The Rock has been down to the doctors and removed any of the shit he may have caught on that fishing trip with Dong. "The Rock likes fishing?" Hell yeah The Rock likes fishing, although he catches crabs mostly. Hey win some you lose some and that being said this Saturday will be the time for Rock to win some. Yeahhhhhh Boooiiiiii.
I am the mighty schlong and I'm cumming down your way and I can play...
I can play the strudel.
Hide the, Hide the, Hide the the, Hide the the, Hide the the,
Hide the, Hide the, Hide the the, Hide the fucking Strudel.
So Stevie Tyler the Current X-Treme Champion who shares his name with the floppy mouthed singer of Aerosmmmiiiitttttthhhhh. How does it feel Steve to know that in just three days time you will be waking up in your nice warm bed, you will look over at the little side table where your title belt would usually be and it will not be there. All you would have with you in you room on that morning is a Strudel placed firmly up your candy ass. Fear not though poor Steve your title will be safe, The Rock will look after it real good.
Now Stevie on to the third man in our little shin-dig of a match-up, the person you took that title from in the first place. Tony Santos. I struggle to find anything relevant about man who lets someone like Stevie Tyler take his title off of him, I mean really... REALLY!! Do you know what I think? I think that Tony Santos noticed that he had to defend his title on Shove It against The Rock, so he filled his pants with his sticking shit and decided to give up his title. Obviously he couldn’t just hand his title back, it would make him look a coward. No instead he decided to let the next person who tries to pin him win the title. The only two issues with that plan are the two things that came to fruition. One, there person who pinned him was a no ball pussy loser so that in itself has made Tony look bad, I mean getting pinned by a no ball pussy loser who accidently tripped over his namesakes floppy lips thus resulting in an accidental pin attempt in which Tony did not kick out is kind of embarrassing. The second issue with Tony’s plan of forfeiting the belt in order to not have to go ONE ON ONE WITH THE GREAT SCHLONG is that the Payne’s that be would not remove him from the match, no instead Tony is still in the match along with Stevie and will still be having his ass handed to him by The Rock.
Oh well Tony, we will have fun, plus the rules are simple.
One: The Rock picks up a Strudel.
Two: You run your ass away.
Three: The Rock takes chase.
Four: The Rock catches up with you.
And
Five: You’re surrounded by Doctors having a Strudel surgically removed from your candy ass.
OOOOOOOssssshhhhhhh!!!
Don’t worry though nothing will go to waste, oh no once the docs have removed that strudel from your ass The Rock is gonna “SHOVE IT”right down Stevie’s throat before pinning his as to the mat with this giant schlong and getting the win.
”Umm, Tony isn’t in that match anymore!”
WAIT! What do you mean Sally isn’t in that match anymore? Damn, one minute he is in next minute he is out this match changes more than one of Dean Moxley McGovern’s girlfriends getting ready for her high school prom. Oh well... I don’t matter, the outcome will not change, there will still be a new X-Treme champion and that person will be me.
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